"Sherry", a
newsletter subscriber, recently wrote:
"I have always
looked at death as a transition from
plane to plane and body to body. So it
is hard for me to go to funerals
and see people
weeping and mourning their dead. My
inner voice is crying out to them: 'You
should be celebrating his/her
death. He/she has
gone back home to be with his/her
beloved.' At least that is how we Sikhs
look at death and what I have
learned in our
religion and scriptures."
She brings up an
excellent point about the balance
between grieving and celebrating the
transition of a loved one. This
distinction is
especially apparent to me since my Dad
passed on one year ago today.
Before, during and
just after he changed worlds, I cried
hard and often.
Dad asked me about
this a few days before he crossed over.
"I'm surprised that you're so sad. You
know that death isn't an end and we'll
see each other again." I replied, "I
know that without a doubt. Even so,
I'll miss seeing your ornery grin,
calling you on the phone and hearing you
say 'I love
you son,' visiting
and getting that big Bill Pitstick bear
hug."
I told him,
"Sadness is like diarrhea. You
shouldn't try to hold it in."
He laughed his head
off over that one.
Each person has a
unique personality and degree of
spiritual awareness. That's why some
people focus almost completely on
the celebration
part, others are totally mired in the
grieving, and most are somewhere in
between.
It also depends on
the circumstances of the death. Was the
person who died extremely close to you
or not? Was he or she really old or
very young? Did your loved one suffer
so much and so long that death was a
welcome blessing or was it a sudden
shock?
All these factors
affect the degree of grieving, even when
we know it's also a time of celebration
and gratitude.
I encourage people
to let themselves feel the richness of
the moment, all the many conflicting
emotions, and don't hold
anything in.
By grieving deeply
when I felt like it, I was able to move
on and perceive Dad's spiritual
visitations almost immediately after he
passed. I might not have received his
contacts if filled with unexpressed
mourning.
It's also important
to focus on the positive and give thanks
for the time you had together. Some
people torture themselves by asking why
loved ones had to die and don't accept
it. As Mom and I discussed this
morning, we're choosing to be grateful
for the many wonderful years we had with
him.
We also take refuge
in the knowledge that he'll be at the
front of the line to greet us when we
pass on.
So perhaps, as an
old "Moody Blues" song suggested, it's a
question of balance.
Sherry also posed
an important question: "Is it possible
for the spirit of a dead one to be
around or in limbo for a while
especially
when he or she dies
suddenly.....from an accident or heart
attack or suicide?"
The short answer is
'yes.' There are a few variations on
this.
First, many souls
stick around a bit after they drop their
bodies. There are a variety of reasons
for this, for example, concern
about their loved
ones and--for the more
egotistical--wanting to see who attended
and what they were wearing. When a
traumatic exit is
not involved, these beings usually
return to Spirit Side after a while for
the next phase of life.
Those who suffer a
traumatic or unexpected death may
be in limbo longer, especially if they
didn't have a firm spiritual
foundation. They may be in shock for a
time until they realize what has
happened. This
delay may be extended if they harbor
revenge, anger, or resentment about
their method of passing. Even though
the Light and spiritual helpers stand
ready to assist, the recently departed
may take awhile to recognize and accept
the lift back Home.
Finally, some may
have physical addictions that slow their
entry to spiritual realms. These can
involve money, drugs, alcohol, sex, or
materialism. They are excessively tied
to the physical realm and fear they
won't be able to get 'their fix' in
spiritual
dimensions.
Over time, however,
and eternity is forever, everyone has an
open-ended opportunity to enter the
Light. Any delays teach vital lessons
and no doubt burn off karma.
It's a great
system.
