One of the toughest parts about life—even though it lasts forever—is when a loved one passes on. We miss their bodily presence, hug, and voice—in short, the physical attributes we love about our dear family, friends, and pets.
It’s difficult when a loved one transitions on to the next phase of forever. But life has taken a new turn and is offering you an opportunity to see past the illusion of death. You now have a chance to more deeply realize that your loved one was and is much more than skin, muscle, organs, and bones. (And so are you.)
His physical body was only his earth-suit, a temporary house for his indestructible essence.
Your loved ones bodily death is providing you with a new moment, an opportunity to deepen your relationship with the soul you called parent, child, spouse, etc. The information in this article can help you awaken to a greater reality. You can learn without a doubt that your loved one is much more than what you may have perceived. And that, my friend, is easily worth all the pain, sadness, and struggle.
For more information about the evidence that physical death is not the end of life, read Foundational Article #1 Scientific, Clinical, and Empirical Evidence That Life Is Forever on the homepage of Soul Proof. For a more complete discussion of the evidence, read Soul Proof and Greater Reality Living.
(NOTE: I will not use the terms ‘departed, deceased, or dead’ since those have such strongly entrenched – and, according to much contemporary evidence – erroneous meanings about the end of life. Instead, I will use more accurate terms: changed worlds, passed on, physical or bodily death / die, orcrossed over. Other more factual descriptors for what happens after physical death include: transitioned / moved to the next phase of forever, reentered the field of all possibilities, dropped the body, andgraduated from earth-school.)
Before you read the next paragraph, take a few slow, deep breaths, quiet your mind, and open your heart.
Sandra is a mother whose two children died. She was preparing to go to sleep one night when she heard her daughter’s voice from the foot of the bed: “Mom, can you see me?” Sandra replied, “I can hear you, but I can’t see you.” Her daughter responded: “Then get bigger eyes.” That is one of your tasks when a loved one passes on. You need to remember there is much more to life than is detected by your human senses. You need to recall that life and love are forever.
Here are eight keys to remember when the body of a beloved soul dies:
1.Remember that you will see them again, and can now: much clinical data from near-death experiences, life between life sessions, and evidential mediums indicates that, when you pass on, you enjoy a glorious reunion with loved ones who graduated from earth school before you. What’s more, you don’t have to wait until you pass on to experience the very real presence of your dear family, friends, and pets.
Many people have experienced after-death contacts while awake or dreaming, via the usual senses or more ethereal ones. How can you get bigger eyes? Pray that you will sense your loved ones presence; meditate to become quiet and peaceful so you can perceive their subtle presence; walk in nature and talk to them as though they are right there . . . because they are.
For more information, read Article #9: 12 Keys to Visiting “Departed” Loved Ones. Click here to learn more about the Facilitated After-Death Contact Technique under hypnosis.
Take a few moments and consider your beliefs about ADCs. Do you think they are possible? Have you had one or more? Remember that such experiences may seem more subtle, fleeting, and even imaginary when compared to the apparent, but illusory, solidity on Earth.
Watch Talking to Heaven, a marvelous movie based on medium James Van Praagh’s book. The scene with the old man dying and his reunion with beloved people and pets who had transitioned from earth before him is especially heart-warming. It’s a very accurate portrayal of the celebration that occurs when souls complete their earth-experience and return Home again.
2. Celebrate since they graduated from earth-school: many cultures throw a party when a loved one physical dies. Why? Because they know she has completed her lessons. They also know about #1 so they can accept that life is never-ending, but periodically changing. You can do the same.
This knowledge allows you to experience sadness and pain and, at the same time, feel joy that they are enjoying the next stage of forever. It’s similar to the bitter-sweet feelings when a young people graduate from high school: you’re happy they finished, but sad they will be leaving home.
3.Know that they are having a wonderful experience: unless your departed loved one was named Hitler or another apparently dastardly villain, she is having a great time. Here’s one way to gauge how wonderful your loved ones are feeling in the next realm.
Recall your very best days while on earth —your happiest, healthiest, and most energetic. Then multiply that by a million. That’s how good it feels to return to the Light or, more accurately, remember you are an integral part of It now and forever.
To paraphrase Gibran, ‘When your bodily limbs have died, then shall you truly dance.’
Does #3 sound too good to be true? Sometimes life on earth involves so many disappointments and struggles that it’s hard to believe in good news. That’s why it’s important to know the evidence that each of us can enjoy a heavenly afterlife.
Breathe deeply again as you remember – for your essence knows this very well – that physical death is a portal to higher energy realms.
Imagine how awful your feet would feel after walking all day in a pair of ill-fitting shoes. Now consider how wonderful it would feel to slip them off and soak your feet in a tub of warm water. That is fraction of how good it feels to drop your body – especially when it is aged or chronically ill and tired. And that’s what your loved ones who have crossed over are feeling.
4. Make your life a work of ART: A.R.T. is an acronym for Appreciate, Realize, and Transform. When a loved ones physical body dies, you can consciously choose to . . .
- Appreciate the time you spent together and the wonderful memories that are accessible throughout eternity. You also can focus on gratitude that she is now joyful, peaceful, whole, and free of earth’s difficulties.
- Realize you will see him again when you pass on . . . and can likely learn to sense his very real presence now.
- Transform yourself for the better to honor and create more meaning to his life. This also helps you grow, evolve, and serve others from a higher level.
Each time you start to feel sad, lonely, discouraged, etc. remind yourself that you can shift your focus.
Please take a moment right now to think about a difficult event in your life and how you can apply the A.R.T. formula. Now consider another one. Doing this will create the habit of focusing on more positive emotions. You will then be prepared when the next big change or challenge occurs.
Take another deep breath to center and remember. Rachel wrote me about the time since her son graduated from this phase of life into the next: “The past eleven months have been a time of the greatest pain, yet also the most growth I have ever experienced.” What an amazing statement. And that is how it can be for everyone. Rachel is now helping others with her mediumistic skills that burgeoned after her son’s passing. And he is helping her from another dimension.
5. Know what your loved ones are trying to tell you. You can visit a highly skilled evidential medium in hopes of getting specific messages from your dear ones who have changed worlds. However, some mediums are outright fakes while others are very mediocre. The really great ones are very busy.
You can save a lot of time and money since those in spirit share very similar messages. They want you to:
- be happy and peaceful now
- know they are very much alive and well
- not worry about them
- fully enjoy your remaining time on earth
- know you will see each other again
- release guilt and self-blame for anything you did or didn’t do while they were on earth
The Holistic Breathwork Technique can help you more deeply know all that.
6. Realize that death is an important part of life: We all have wondered, “Why do we have to die? Why can’t everyone just live forever?” The answer is simple: we don’t really die; we just change outward form. And – to those who only view life with the five senses – change looks like a scary end of existence.
Also, imagine how boring and stifling a constant sameness would be. Here’s one way to do this: think of your favorite movie and ask yourself, “Would you want to watch it all day and every day for eternity?” Of course not. Well, it’s very much the same way with life. Souls love variety, expansion, challenge, and adventure—not safe stagnation. Life is designed to include perpetual change. It’s a great setup when you release fear, remember you are an eternal being, and realize there’s meaning to it all.
Have you ever found yourself wishing you could freeze time and things would never change? It’s a natural thought, especially if everything seems optimal for you. But a little contemplation about this will help you realize how bad of a plan that would be. If you need more proof, watch the movie Groundhog Day over and over and . . .
Another deep breath, please. Three of Marla’s children died. She wrote me with details of how and when they transitioned, then said, “At this time, I have just one question.” I expected an angry diatribe about what kind of God—if any such entity really exists—could allow this to happen. But, instead, she asked, “How can I help others who have gone through the death of their child?” She is now leading a Helping Parents Heal group in Tampa. This is a beautiful demonstration of how we can respond to extreme adversity. The greater the challenge, the bigger the opportunities for increased love, growth, and service.
7. Use and share THEIR gifts: Various cultures believe that loved ones can send a spiritual gift to you after they graduate from earth school. Some people on earth have noticed a marked change in their personality or energy after a dear one passes on. Perhaps they received an energetic gift from those who moved on to higher energy realms.
You are an energetic being living in an energy universe. Your interactions result in a literal exchange of physical molecules and energies – particles and waves. Just imagine the transfer of love, ideas, and inspiration that can occur with your loved ones change worlds. You can use their gifts to lighten your grief, and heal and transform yourself and the world.
Three slow deep breaths please. Key #7 is an especially important key to go deeper with. Think back to when a loved one crossed over. With the benefit of hindsight, can you identify ways in which you became better? Did you seem to inherit one or more positive attributes that you admired in them?
8. Lean on others. Just as the classic song by Bill Withers encourages, we need to lean on each other at times. Even though they are in extreme pain and grief, some people feel that they don’t want to bother others. You’ll be surprised by how many people are glad and honored to help. When you get back on your feet, you can pay it forward and assist someone else. It’s a simple but elegant model for following the Golden Rule and enjoying a wonderful life here and now.
Many love-focused, open-minded, and service-oriented churches and organizations exist to help those who need it. My personal favorites in the U.S. include Unity, Religious Science, Science of Mind, Unitarian-Universalist, and United Church of Christ (UCC). I’ve also found much wisdom and many wonderful people at Native American events as well as Buddhist and Hindu meditation and yoga centers.
Discover where your kindred spirits congregate and start leaning.
Finally, take stock of your family, friends, co-workers, and holistic care givers (doctors, counselors, ministers, etc.) Do you have an extended network of loving and supportive people? If not, how can you expand your support team now to prepare for life’s inevitable tough times?
Years ago, my first patient of the day came in looking quite haggard and tired. I knew something was wrong with elderly Roberta and asked what was going on. She said, “Oh, my husband died.” Over the years, we had talked about my work in the field of afterlife studies. I gave my condolences and asked, “When did he die?” “Four hours ago,” she replied.
I was shocked. “Roberta, we like our patients to keep their appointments, but certainly would understand you missing this one.” “That’s what all my family said,” she said. “But I told them that, at a time like this, there wasn’t anyone I would rather be around than Dr. Pitstick.”
Some of the information below has already been discussed, but repetition is the essence of learning. Here are my answers – equally applicable to people and pets – to commonly asked questions:
Why did my dear one die so early?
It was time for her to move into the next phase of forever. How else can an eternal soul graduate from earth school except by what appears – from a limited human perspective – to be a tragic illness, accident, suicide, or murder?
Did he suffer?
Good evidence indicates that the soul / consciousness detaches when death is imminent. As such, pain and fear may not register at all or as much as you might think. Medically, it’s termed physiological shock. From a greater reality perspective, even though the physical body may appear to be in pain, the other 99.9% of who and what your loved one is was watching it impassively from above. He had one foot in the next realm and was already feeling the peace, joy, and love therein.
Where is she now?
Consciousness is not restricted by space and time. She could be right next to you and, at the same time, in her next stage of forever.
Is he alright?
He is much more than alright. Imagine walking all day in a pair of shoes that are too tight. Now consider how heavenly it would feel to take them off and soak your feet in warm water. That gives you a glimpse of how great he is feeling.
Is she still with me? I sense her presence at times; could she be visiting me?
Yes, she very likely is comforting and visiting you. That may be why you can feel her presence so strongly at times, see flickering lights, have lucid dreams that seem like real visits, etc. To learn more, read article #28: After-Death Contacts.
How can I communicate with him?
There are a number of ways you can increase the likelihood of a meaningful visit with your loved one who dropped his body. To learn more about this, read article #9: 12 Keys to Visiting Your “Departed” Loved Ones.
To further increase the chances of sensing his presence, use the Facilitated After-Death Contact technique
Why is it so painful when loved ones pass on?
It’s natural to miss their physical body, hugs, voice, smile, and so on. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be human. However, there is much more to them: their love, energy, personality, creativity, intelligence, and spirit. You can learn how to increasingly focus on and value all that. This will allow you to enjoy a continued but different relationship with them.
You now stand at a fork in the road. You have a chance to spiritually awaken to the great news that:
- you and everyone else are one with the One and part of Source Energy right now
- no one really dies, just the physical body that is much less than 1% of who and what we are
- you will see your loved ones whose physical bodies died again
- life and love are forever
Surviving, and even thriving, after the physical death of a loved one is different for everyone. Recommendations to quicken and lighten that process include:
- Read Foundational Article#1 Scientific, Clinical, and Empirical Evidence That Life Is Forever on the homepage of Soul Proof. This article provides documentation that physical death is not the end of life. To learn even more evidence, read Soul Proof and Greater Reality Living.
- Read article #3 When a Loved Ones Body Dies
- Use the Holistic Breathingtechnique to release excess sadness, pain, fear, guilt, hopelessness, and other emotions that people often feel when a loved one passes on.
- Read article #12 Seven Keys to Holistically Fine-Tune Yourself to learn how to more quickly and optimally heal.
- Use the Ask Your Soultechnique to access your inner wisdom about how to best grieve, transform, and handle life’s changes and challenges.
- Listen to Radio Shows in which I and other consciousness experts provide meaningful answers to the deep questions you are likely asking.
- When you feel ready, two ways to continue a very real but different relationship with your loved ones who have left the earth plane include:a. read and take action steps described in article #9: 12 Keys to Visiting Your “Departed” Loved Ones
b.use the Facilitated After-Death Contact session.
Over time, most people increasingly realize their loved ones are very much alive, well, and near. They are – or soon will be after rest and rehabilitation – happy, peaceful, and living fully in the here and now moment. And they want you to be the same way now.
All of this doesn’t totally and immediately remove the grief and sadness, but it does lighten it over time. In addition, your suffering can serve others and enlighten you. And those are the reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
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Thank you for sharing this article with others who can use it. I hope that this article – and taking the action steps discussed – help you feel more happy, healthy, peaceful, clear, and energetic. You deserve to feel that way and the world needs your greatest gifts.
Life and love are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is director of The Soul Phone Foundation, co-founder of Greater Reality Living Groups, and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show – no matter what is going on around you – that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit About Dr. Mark Pitstick for his full bio.
Note: Because of his many outreaches, Dr. Pitstick can no longer answer complex and multiple questions from individuals. However, he has created many resources to answer your biggest questions and provide holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.
1. Free articles, radio shows, and newsletters:
• Articles for Transformation and Healing (on SoulProof.com home page) address the most common questions, concerns, and challenges about life, death, and afterlife.
• Radio Shows (top tab of SoulProof.com) share his answers and those of top experts to life’s biggest questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? What happens after I die? Is there a God? Why is there so much suffering? Why must children die?” and others.
• Soul Proof Newsletters with information and inspiration are delivered by email monthly. To subscribe, visit SoulProof.com
2. Audio Products – CDs and digital downloads – allow you to benefit from quality sessions at home for a fraction of the cost of an office visit.
These Transformational Audio Products use deep relaxation, visualization, breath work, and other techniques to access your inner wisdom, visit with “departed” loved ones, release old wounds and lower energy emotions, evaluate your pre-birth planning, have past life regressions, and more.
3. Books and documentary film: these products (visit Shop) provide specific information to help you know and show that you are a forever being of consciousness / energy / spirit and how you can live accordingly.
4. Webinars and workshops: to learn about these and other updates, subscribe to the free email newsletters at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org.
5. Greater Reality Living Groups: Dr. Pitstick and Dr. Gary Schwartz co-founded the organization for local and online groups. For more information, visit Greater Reality Living Groups.
6. SoulPhone Newsletter: Receive research and development updates on this life and world transformative spirit communication technology being developed at the Laboratory for Advancement in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. A prototype of the first device, the SoulSwitch, may be reliably functioning as soon as 2018. This breakthrough will constitute 100% scientific proof that life continues after physical death and the many wonderful benefits that accompany that knowledge. To receive updates, join the newsletter at SoulPhone.org.
7. Coaching/Counseling Session: these can occur in person, by phone, or on Zoom. To learn more, visit Coaching/Counseling Session
Disclaimer: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. My remarks are based on over forty-five years of study, training, personal experience, and professional service. Extensive clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence supports much, but not all, of what I say. My current best understandings may change over time. I do not claim to have all the answers or the only answers. My hope is that this information assists you to consider what makes the most sense to you.