Watching a loved one go through the process of dying can be difficult.You may feel helpless about not being able to do something about it.You may feel angry toward your loved one, the health care team, or God about what is happening.There may be many conflicting emotions at the same time.You may feel very sad that she is dying and, simultaneously, happy that her suffering is coming to an end. The dying process can also be a powerfully transformative time for you, your family, and the person who is transitioning.Much growth and many blessings await those who consciously experience life’s biggest change.Here are eleven points to consider:
1. Death is not an end.Much documented clinical and scientific evidence clearly shows that life does not end when the physical body dies.The Soul Proof book and documentary film share this and other convincing evidence.The physical body is less than 1% of who your dying loved one really is.The rest—all the energy, consciousness, spirit, love—continues on.
2. It’s normal to experience different emotions.Be prepared for an avalanche of feelings that you rarely experience at the same time.You may feel intense sadness, guilt, anger, fear, joy, relief, and others simultaneously.It may feel like a roller-coaster at first.Meditation, prayer, and talking about it can help you release your fears and worries so you can focus on gratitude and peace.
3. Your dying loved one likely wants to talk about it.Imagine preparing to embark on an exciting trip.Wouldn’t you want to talk about it?So does your loved one who is preparing to change worlds.Women are usually more verbal than men, but most dying people want to discuss it.Ask him how he feels, what is he thinking, what is he fearful of and excited about.Then really listen.You will learn much and he will be able to process his emotions.
4. This experience can lessen your fear of death.Nearly everyone I’ve interviewed feels the peace that usually occurs at the moment of death.They see the pain go away and the ego release.They notice the dying person cease to struggle and relax into the process of graduating.It’s like being born, only in reverse.Seeing all this will make your transition easier.
5. Create a joyful and peaceful environment.Play favorite music and movies, put inspiring posters on the wall.Laugh, cry, tell stories, share your hopes and fears.Create an awakened and loving space for your loved one to birth into the next phase of forever.It will also help you and other loved ones relax into the process and realize death is an integral part of infinity.
6. Death isn’t contagious so touch each other.Rub her feet and back, brush her hair, cuddle up, hold hands.The dying person wants to be touched; she isn’t gone yet.Being with a dying person isn’t a spectator event—you’re not watching it on TV.This is real life so treasure touching.Also, consider bringing in a massage therapist, Reiki, Healing Touch or other practitioner.
7. He may see “the welcoming committee.”As the dying person’s general health and mental clarity diminish, they may be able to see what was always there all along: departed loved ones, angels, guides, God.In the past, health care providers thought the patient was losing their minds.Now we know that they are excited about seeing more of life, that 99.9% of reality that humans usually don’t perceive.Ask him about these visitors and listen.
8. You may have an empathetic near-death experience.It’s common for family and friends of the dying person to glimpse the Light.You may see or feel entities who are there to assist her graduation to the next level.The room may fill with light at the time of passing.You may feel “the peace that passes all understanding” near the time of death.These gifts are there for those with open hearts and minds who relax during the dying experience.
9. Invite a psychic medium to visit. A ‘sensitive’ person with clairvoyant or clairaudient abilities can provide valuable insights about visiting spirit beings and relay their messages. This input can radically change the mood of everyone for the better. Andy, my fiancé who can see auras and energy, was present when my dad was preparing to cross over. She saw the soul of his grandmother whom dad had helped when she was dying. Andy was told to ask dad about the icebox when he was a kid. That simple question led to dad laughing and telling stories about his youth. That’s literally how he spent his last waking hour on Earth.What a great way to go!
10. She may want to pass on while alone.You’ve likely heard stories of loved ones who, after spending many hours with the dying person, finally went to the cafeteria or bathroom.While they were gone, their loved one crossed over.Some dying persons are more private and want to pass on while alone. Others are worried about traumatizing their loved ones and slip away while they are gone. If dear ones aren’t ready for the person to die, she may transition while there is some peace and quiet.
11. Say “see you later” – not “good-bye.”You can “anchor” the energy in your family by reminding yourself and others that death is not an end.Your loved one finished earth-school ahead of the rest of you slow-learners, that’s all.Laugh about it and remember it’s true.We all die sooner or later and it’s truly not a big deal. Love and life are eternal and who knows what adventures you two will have in the future.Forever is a very, very long time so there will ample opportunities for enjoying each other’s company.
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Disclaimer: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. Dr. Pitstick’s recommendations are based on forty-five years of training and experience in hospitals, pastoral counseling settings, mental health centers, and holistic chiropractic practice. Some of his statements are supported by clinical and scientific data while others are based on empirical evidence and his best current understandings.
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, clinical psychologist, chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is the director of The SoulPhone Foundation and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Mark can help you know and show — no matter what is going on around you — that your earth-experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit Soul Proof for free articles, newsletters, and radio shows with top consciousness experts. Email your toughest questions to him at email@example.com.