I am very sorry for all the pain, sadness, and other difficult emotions that you naturally feel when the physical body of your beloved child is murdered. If a child dying is the most difficult event a person can go through, death by murder or suicide is the worst of the worst.
No one could blame you if you spent the rest of your days stuck in anger, bitterness, revenge, and other lower-energy emotions. However, some parents whose children were murdered have taken another path. They found ways to consciously choosehigher energy emotions while, at the same time, feeling pain and sadness.
Yes, in the beginning, it feels horriblewhen you can’t see his outer shell. That is especially true when a child is murdered. However, the good news is that every-thing else about her – all the energy, light love, personality, humor, memory, energetic and subtle bodies, and more – is still very much alive and well.
You haven’t really “lost” your child: she has graduated, changed worlds, crossed over, transitioned into the next phase of forever. You will see him again.
You deserve to feel happy and healthy again and the world needs your brightest light. Your child is in a realm predominated by peace, joy, gratitude, love, and enthusiasm. He wants you to remember life’s big picture and feel those higher-energy emotions more and more each day.
When deeply understood and acted upon, the following keys can lighten your grieving and help you survive one day at a time. Over time, they can reveal ways to find and share the blessings that always accompany tragedies.
1. Focus on the good news. Please read Foundational Articles#1 and 2 on the SoulProof.comhomepage. In a nutshell, no matter how your child died:
- Her essence is very much alive and well right now.Death is not an end, just a transition to the next phase of forever.
- You will definitely see each other again and don’t have to wait until you die to enjoy a heavenly reunion.See #8 below.
- He was likely an evolved soul who didn’t need a long earth-experience.
- It wasn’t God’s decision that your child was murdered.You weren’t being punished for something you did or didn’t do. See #5 below.
- Your child’s passing by murder will touch and bless people more deeply than if, for example, she died from a vaccination reaction.
- You need to take care of yourself and have a holistic health care team.The death of a child is a horrible shock to the body, especially the brain and endocrine system. It’s wise to reset, strengthen, and balance yourself.
2.Your child didn’t suffer as much as you might think. Good evidence indicates that the consciousness of a person may disengage from the body just before a fatal injury. Medically, this is considered physiological shock. I’ve interviewed a number of people who were shot, stabbed, or fell from great heights. All of them said it initially felt like a punch and that was it. The essence / soul knows when an injury will be fatal. There are no good reasons to stick around and experience the entire impact.
When death occurred, your loved one’s spirit / awareness was very likely watching it impassively from above. He was probably much more concerned about you than the demise of the physical shell. Why? He was more clearly seeing that no one reallydies. From his new perspective, he could see that his physical body was just a temporary vehicle that was no longer needed.
I hope this information helps you from tormenting yourself that your child suffered horribly. Even if she was speaking or screaming at the time of death, her real self was already flying away and not feeling what you might assume.
Murder is a ticket back Home.
There are only four ways that a soul can move on to the next page in Life’s never-ending saga: illness, accident, suicide, and murder. From a limited earthly perspective, all of these are horrible – especially when they occur with a young person. But from a greater reality viewpoint, the method of death is really very inconsequential. How else can a eternal being inhabiting a young body move on into the next phase of forever except by what appears to be a senseless tragedy?
Although you may not understand it now, there is meaning behind the timing and way your child died. For example, I didn’t write this article until I received a letter from a mother whose son was stabbed in the heart. Many people will be comforted and informed by this article. So her son’s eternal soul got a return trip back Home and, at the same time, made a hugely positive impact. Not a bad deal when you remember that death is a optical delusion.
4.No one is alone at the time of death.
Sometimes a child appearsto be alone at the time of passing and that, of course, can haunt parents and family members. However, good evidence shows that your child’s higher energy assistants– angels, guides, soulmates, and the Light – are right there at every moment. No one is ever alone. After her physical body died, your child’s real self was lovingly accompanied at every step into the afterlife. She enjoyed a wonderful reunion and was greeted by dear ones who have passed on.
After that, a healing showerwashes away any ‘dirty laundry’ carried over from the recent earth-school experience. The soul’s essence is recharged and revitalized. She receives counseling and coaching before reintegrating into the next phase of forever.
Upon learning all this, the question understandably arises: “Why didn’t all those angels, guides, and other celestial helpers prevent the murder of my child?” We can’t know all of the factors involved, but the most common reasons include:
a. They often do intervene when doing so is in alignment with the soul’s plan.
- Although the child was young in earth-years, he may really have been a more advanced soul. Evolved beings like that sometimes volunteer out of loveto help beginner souls. Less evolved souls are like children learning how to walk. They fall down many times – as we all have – before learning to follow the Golden Rule.
c. It was time for the child’s soul to return back to the Really Real Place.
d. We live in a free will universe. If angels prevented every “sad and difficult” event, that would negate many of the soul’s reasons for taking on a physical form.
e. The horror of a child’s murder can motivate family and friends to learn, grow, and serve more deeply. For example, the abusive death of a three-year-old boy when I worked in hospitals was largely responsible for the service I’ve provided to many thousands of people in the forty-five years since.
5.God isn’t punishing you for something you did or didn’t do. Some people
suffer needlessly because they still believe archaic and inaccurate religious teachings. Contrary to images from the Dark Ages, God is not a huge guy in the sky who unilaterally decides who dies when and how. Much contemporary evidence indicates that Source is not separate from us. We each are important and beloved parts of All That Is. Decisions about the timing and manner of crossing over are ideally made by the soul involved in conjunction with wise guidance from higher energy assistance and One Mind.
On the similar topic, I hope that you are not punishing yourself for what you could or should have done to prevent his murder. It’s natural for parents to blame themselves for not protecting their child. Living in guilt and self-blame can’t change the past, but it can make your life feel like hell until you accept and forgive.
6.Inhale the good, exhale the bad.
When you are ready, you can start releasing grief, hopelessness, and sadness with the Holistic Breathing Technique. This powerful method helps you retrieve stuck energy, heal deep wounds, and better remember the big picture of life. It’s one of the most effective ways I know to recall who you and your child really are and gain a better perspective about your plight.
Forgive the murderer.
Yes, I know, it’s easier said than done.I’ve gotten a few angry emails from people for even suggesting this. However, it’s very important that you set the intention to forgive the person who murdered your child. I’ve received numerous letters from parents who are obsessed with finding the murder or extending the prison sentence. From a human perspective, I can understand this.
Forgiving does not imply condoning or not wanting justice. It does mean having compassion for an obviously imbalanced person.
There’s a fine line here; examining the underlying emotions may be the best litmus test. You may want to adjust your focus if your primary motivations are anger, bitterness, and the desire for revenge. Just one click away, however, are a strong desire for justice and protecting others from the murderer. The former can keep you in a prison.
Your child certainly would not want this. He can now see a broader perspective of life, understands why things unfolded as they did, and wants you to do the same.
Any lower-energy emotions may interfere with you connecting with your child right now. His energy is love, joy, peace, appreciation, and enthusiasm. If your predominant emotions are the opposites of those, you won’t be able to be on the same wavelength and feel his presence right beside you.
One tool to assist in this regard is Heal & Transform Your Suffering. Under deep relaxation / hypnosis, you can better understand the situation from a higher perspective. You may remember why you, as a soul, possibly agreed to come into this scenario. You understood the probability that your human heart would be crushed with pain and shock. But you also knew, from your higher spiritual vantage point, that there would also be huge opportunities for growth and service. You remembered the following:
a. no one really dies; we each are forever beings of spirit / energy / awareness
b. we cannot be separate from dear loved ones even though it appears that way after physical death
c. our time on Earth is but a blink of an eye in the span of eternity; souls know that very temporary suffering is well worth the possible growth and blessings
d. big challenges can serve as a wake-up call, a spiritually-transformative experience that help us remember who we are and why we are here.
8.You don’t have to wait until you die to visit with your child who passed on.
After their child changes worlds, some parents consider suicide so they can be with their little one. This is a common feeling and usually an indication of how much pain a person is in. Don’t be appalled if you find yourself having an occasional thought like that, but do take it seriously and share your suicidal thoughts with trusted loved ones, counselor, minister, and health care team.
Other parents and family members so deeply want to have ‘just one last contact’ with their child who has graduated from earth school. You can have an infinite number of opportunities to visit with him, both here and in the hereafter, since love is eternal. Two ways to increase the chances of feeling his presence right noware:
- Read and take action steps described in Foundational Article#9 12 Keys to Visiting with Your ‘Departed’ Loved One Now.
- Use the Facilitated After-Death Contactsession that has helped many people sense the very real presence of their loved ones who have crossed over.
In addition, exciting new technology is being designed that will very likely allow you to communicate with your child in the future. This may sound impossible, but so did cell phones, computers, and other past inventions that we now take for granted. To learn more about these revolutionary devices and how you can help speed up the research and development, visit www.SoulPhoneorg
- Your child wants you to be happy now. Your child’s soul is very near and wants you to enjoy life again. She can feel your emotions and is urging you to awaken to the great news that life and love are eternal. Now that you know there’s a rhyme and reason behind all life’s events, perhaps you can experience more peace and acceptance. Enjoy your life fully on Earth while you can. That will honor your child’s life and assist a continued, although different, relationship with her now.
- Benefit from loving support and wise information. This is the time to ask for help and lean on others. Then, when you’ve regained your center, you can pay it forward and help others. Consider joining a love-based church or organization that offers spiritual wisdom, loving fellowship, and ways to serve others. Unity Centers, Unitarian-Universalist, and Centers for Spiritual Living are among my favorites.
Helping Parents Heal(HPH) provides support, networking, and strategies for healing and transformation. There are many HPH chapters in the U.S. and abroad plus online meetings for those who don’t yet have a group in their area. I highly recommend that you join a group and actively participate .
My website SoulProof.comhas many free resources to help you survive and even thrive through life’s toughest challenges:
- Foundational Articles for Healing and Transformation
- Radio Shows(top tab) featuring interviews with Drs. Gary Schwartz, Wayne Dyer, Raymond Moody, and other top experts in spirituality and healing. We discuss the very questions that you have no doubt been trying to wrap your mind around: “What happens after we die? Is there really a God? If so, why is there so much suffering? Why do children die?” You know the list.
Over time, following the steps above assist most people to increasingly realize their loved ones are very much alive, well, and near. They come to understand that their child – no matter how he or she passed on– is happy, peaceful, and living fully. Parents and family members learn that the highest reaction to this tough situation is to focus on the same high energy emotions, moment by moment.
Doing this won’t totally remove all your grief and sadness overnight, but it can lighten it over time. In addition, you now have an opportunity to transmute your severe suffering into greater growth and loving service to others. And those are the biggest reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
The more we do that, the more we can experience a heavenly state of being now and always – no matter what is going on around us. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
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Thank you for sharing this article with others who can use it. I hope that this article – and taking the action steps discussed – help you feel more happy, healthy, peaceful, clear, and energetic. You deserve to feel that way and the world needs your greatest gifts.
Life and love are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is director of The Soul Phone Foundation, co–founder of Greater Reality Living Groups,and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show– no matter what is going on around you – that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit About Dr. Mark Pitstickfor his full bio.
Note: Because of his many outreaches, Dr. Pitstick can no longer answer complex and multiple questions from individuals. However, he has created many resources to answer your biggest questions and provide holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.
- Free articles, radio shows, and newsletters:
- Articles for Transformation and Healing(oncomhome page) address the most common questions, concerns, and challenges about life, death, and afterlife.
- Radio Shows(top tab of com) share his answers and those of top experts to life’s biggest questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? What happens after I die? Is there a God? Why is there so much suffering? Why must children die?” and others.
- Soul Proof Newsletterswith information and inspiration are delivered by email monthly. To subscribe, visit com
Audio Products – CDs and digital downloads – allow you to benefit from quality sessions at home for a fraction of the cost of an office visit.
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- Books and documentary film: these products (visit Shop) provide specific information to help you know and showthat you are a forever being of consciousness / energy / spirit and how you can live accordingly.
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5. Greater Reality Living Groups: Dr. Pitstick and Dr. Gary Schwartz co-founded the organization for local and online groups.For more information, visit Greater Reality Living Groups.
6. SoulPhone Foundation Membership and Newsletters:Receive research and development updates on this life and world transformative spirit communication technology being developed at the Laboratory for Advancement in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. A prototype of the first device, the SoulSwitch, may be reliably functioning as soon as 2018. This breakthrough will constitute 100% scientific proof that life continues after physical death and the many wonderful benefits that accompany that knowledge. To receive updates, join the newsletter at SoulPhone.org.
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Disclaimer:This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. My remarks are based on over forty-five years of study, training, personal experience, and professional service. Extensive clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence supports much, but not all, of what I say. My current best understandings may change over time. I do not claim to have all the answers or the only answers. My hope is that this information assists you to consider what makes the most sense to you.