When Your Child Is Murdered . . .
What You Must Remember
by Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
I am very sorry for all the pain, sadness, and other difficult emotions that you naturally feel when the physical body of your beloved child is murdered. If a child dying is the most difficult event a person can go through, death by murder or suicide is the worst of the worst.
No one could blame you if you spent the rest of your days stuck in anger, bitterness, revenge, and other lower-energy emotions. However, some parents whose children were murdered have taken another path. They have found ways to consciously choose higher energy emotions while, at the same time, feeling pain and sadness.
Yes, in the beginning, it feels horrible when you can’t see his or her outer shell. That is especially true when a child is murdered. However, the good news is that a full 99.999% of her being is still very much alive and well. You haven’t really “lost” your child – she has graduated, changed worlds, crossed over.
You deserve to feel happy and healthy again and the world needs your brightest light. Your child is in a realm predominated by peace, joy, gratitude, love, and enthusiasm. He wants you to see the big picture and feel those higher-energy emotions more and more each day.
When deeply understood and acted upon, the following keys can lighten your grieving and help you survive one day at a time. Over time, they can reveal ways to find and share the blessings that always accompany tragedies.
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1. Focus on the good news. Please read Foundational Articles #1 and 2 on the www.soulproof.com homepage. In a nutshell, no matter how your child died:
- 999% of her essence is very much alive and well right now. Death is not an end, just a transition to the next phase of forever.
- You will definitely see each other again and don’t have to wait until you die to enjoy a heavenly reunion. See (8.) below.
- He was likely an evolved soul who didn’t need a long earth-experience
- It wasn’t God’s decision that your child was murdered and you weren’t being punished for something you did or didn’t do. See (5.) below.
- Your child’s passing by murder will touch and bless some people more deeply than if, for example, if she died from a fatal vaccine reaction.
- You need to take care of yourself and have a holistic health care team. The death of a child is a horrible shock to the body/mind, especially the brain and hormonal organs. It’s wise to reset, strengthen, and balance yourself.2. Your child didn’t suffer as much as you might think. Good evidence indicates that the consciousness of a person may disengage from the body just before a fatal injury. Medically, this is considered “physiological shock.” I’ve interviewed many people who were shot, stabbed, or fell from great heights. All of them said it initially felt like a punch and that was it. The essence/soul knows when an injury will be fatal; there are no good reasons to “stick around” and experience the entire impact.When death occurred, your loved one’s spirit/awareness was very likely watching it impassively from above. He was probably much more concerned about you than the demise of the physical shell because he was more clearly seeing that no one really dies. From his new perspective, he could see that his physical body was just a temporary vehicle that was no longer needed.
I hope this information helps you from tormenting yourself that your child suffered horribly. Even if she was speaking or screaming at the time of death, her real self was already flying away and not feeling what you might assume.
3. Murder is a ticket back Home
There are only four ways that a soul can move on to the next page in Life’s never-ending saga: illness, accident, suicide, and murder. From a limited earthly perspective, all of these are horrible—especially when they occur with a young person. But from a cosmic or evolved viewpoint, the method of death is really very inconsequential. How else can a soul inhabiting a young body move on into the next phase of forever except by what appears to be a senseless tragedy?
Although you might not understand it now, you can be sure that there is meaning and purpose behind the timing and way your child died. For example, I didn’t write this article until I received a letter from a mother whose son was stabbed in the heart. Many people will be comforted and informed by this article. So her son’s eternal soul got a return trip to Heaven and, at the same time, made a hugely positive impact. Not a bad deal when you remember that death is a optical illusion.
4. No one is alone at the time of death.
Sometimes a child appears to be alone at the time of passing and that, of course, can haunt parents and family members. However, good evidence shows that the child’s spiritual support team is right there at every moment. No one – including you – is ever alone. After her physical body died, your child’s real self – all the love, energy, intelligence, light, and personality – was accompanied at every step into the afterlife. She enjoyed a wonderful reunion and was greeted by dear ones who have passed on, soul mates, angels, guides, and – always and everywhere – the Light/Presence.
After that, a ‘healing shower’ washes away density and ‘dirty laundry’ carried over from the recent earth-school experience. The soul’s essence is recharged and revitalized. She receives counseling and coaching before reintegrating into the next phase of Life Eternal.
Upon learning all this, the question understandably arises: why didn’t all those angels, guides, and other celestial helpers prevent the murder of my child? We can’t know for sure all of the factors involved, but the most common reasons include:
a. they do intervene whenever possible and doing so would be in alignment with the soul’s plan
b. although the child was young in earth-years, he may have really been an older or more advanced soul. Evolved beings like that sometimes volunteer out of love to help younger/beginner souls. These less evolved souls are like children learning how to walk. They fall down many times – as we all have – before learning to follow the Golden Rule.
c. as discussed, it was time for the child’s soul to return back to the Really Real Place
d. we live in a free will universe; if higher beings stopped every “sad and bad” event from happening, that would negate many of the souls intents and benefits of taking on a transient physical form.
e. the horror of a child’s murder can eventually motivate family and friends to learn, grow, and serve more deeply. For example, the abusive death/murder of a three-year-old boy when I worked in hospitals was largely responsible for the service I’ve provided to many others in the forty-five years since.
5. God isn’t punishing you for something you did or didn’t do.
Some people suffer needlessly because of archaic and inaccurate religious teachings. Contrary to images from the Dark Ages, God is not a huge guy in the sky who unilaterally decides who dies when and how. Much contemporary evidence indicates that God is not separate from us; we each are important and beloved parts of All That Is. Decisions about the timing and manner of crossing over are ideally made by the soul involved, the spiritual support team (angels, guides, etc.) and the Light/God/One Mind.
On the same topic, I hope that you are not punishing yourself for what you could or should have done to prevent his murder. It’s natural for parents to blame themselves for not protecting their child. However, living in guilt and self-blame can’t change the past, but it can ensure that you and those around you will experience life as more like hell than heaven.
6. Inhale the good, exhale the bad.
When you are ready, you can start releasing grief, hopelessness, and sadness with the Holistic Breathing Technique. This powerful method helps you retrieve stuck energy, heal deep wounds, and better remember the big picture of life. It’s one of the most effective ways I know to recall who you and your child really are and gain a more cosmic perspective of your plight.
7. Forgive the murderer.
It’s very important that you forgive the person who murdered your child. I often receive letters from parents who are still immersed in finding the murder or extending the prison sentence. From a human perspective, I can understand this. However, the rest of your time on Earth can be ruined by lower-energy emotions of anger, bitterness, and desire for revenge.
Your child certainly would not want this. He can now see a broader perspective of Life, understands why things unfolded as they did, and wants you to do the same.
Any lower-energy emotions interfere with you connecting with your child right now. His energy is love, joy, peace, appreciation, and enthusiasm. If your predominant emotions are less positive, you won’t be able to be on the same wavelength and feel his presence right beside you.
One tool to assist in this regard is Heal & Transform Your Suffering. Under deep relaxation/hypnosis, you can enjoy a higher perspective and remember why you, as a soul, agreed to come into this scenario. You understood the probability that your human heart would be crushed with pain and shock. But you also knew, from your higher spiritual vantage point, that there would also be huge opportunities for growth and service. When you remember the following, it’s a no-brainer:
a. no one really dies; we each are forever beings of spirit, energy, awareness
b. we cannot be separate from our dear loved ones although it appears that way after physical death
c. our time on Earth is but a blink of an eye in the span of eternity
d. big challenges can serve as a wake-up call, a spiritually-transformative experience that help us remember who we are and why we are here.
8. You don’t have to wait until you die to visit with your “departed” child.
After their child dies, some parents want to die and be with their little one. This is a common feeling and usually an indication of how much pain a person is in. Don’t be appalled if you find yourself having an occasional thought like that, but do take it seriously and share it with your trusted loved ones, counselor, minister, and health care team.
Other parents and family members so deeply want to have “just one last contact” with their child who has changed worlds. Actually, you have infinite opportunities to visit with him, both here and in the hereafter, since love is eternal. Two ways to increase the chances of feeling his presence right now are:
a. read and take action steps described in Foundational Article #9 12 Keys to Visiting with Your “Departed” Loved Ones
b. use the Facilitated After-Death Contact session that has helped many people perceive the very real presence of their “deceased” loved ones
In addition, exciting new technology is being designed that will very likely allow you to communicate with your child in the near future. This may sound impossible, but so did electric light bulbs, airplanes, cell phones, and many other past inventions that we now take for granted. To learn more about these revolutionary devices and how you can help speed up the research and development, visit www.SoulPhoneorg
9. Your “departed” child wants you to be happy now. Your child’s soul is very near and wants you to enjoy life again. She can feel your emotions and is urging you to awaken to the great news that life and love are eternal. Now that you know there’s a rhyme and reason behind all life’s events, perhaps you can experience more peace and acceptance. Enjoy your life fully on Earth while you can. That will honor your child’s life and assist a continued, although different, relationship with her now.
10. Benefit from loving support and wise information. This is the time to ask for help and lean on others. Then, when you’ve regained your center, you can “pay it forward” and help others. Consider joining a love-based church or organization that offers spiritual wisdom, loving fellowship, and ways to serve others. Unity Centers and Centers for Spiritual Living are my favorites.
Helping Parents Heal (HPH) provides support, networking, and strategies for healing and transformation. There are many HPH chapters in the U.S. and abroad plus online meetings for those who don’t yet have a group in their area. I highly recommend that you join a group and actively participate .
My website www.soulproof.com has many free resources to help you survive and even thrive through life’s toughest challenges:
- Foundational Articles for Healing and Transformation
- Newsletters twice per month
- Radio Shows at the top feature interviews with Drs. Gary Schwartz, Wayne Dyer, Raymond Moody, and other top experts in spirituality and healing. We discuss the very questions that you have no doubt been trying to wrap your mind around: “What happens after we die? Is there really a God? If so, why is there so much suffering? Why do children die?” You know the list.
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Over time with regular study and taking action steps, most people increasingly realize their loved ones are very much alive, well, and near. They understand that their child – no matter how he or she passed on – truly is happy, peaceful, and living fully. They “get” that the highest reaction to this tough situation is to focus on the same, moment by moment.
This won’t totally remove all your grief and sadness, but it can lighten it. In addition, you have an opportunity to transmute your severe suffering into greater growth and loving service to others. And those are the biggest reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
The more we do that, the more we can experience heaven now and always – no matter what is going on around us. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
Please let me know how you are doing after digesting this information and using these resources.
Love and life are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
Note: This information is not designed to replace medical or mental health care. It represents my best current understandings after 45 years of searching for sensible, evidence-based answers and working with tens of thousands of patients in a variety of settings. Some of my points are supported by clinical and scientific research while others are based on my firsthand experience and that of others.
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. As a youth, he worked in hospitals as a respiratory therapist and worked with many suffering and dying people.
Mark directs the SoulPhone Foundation and is on the Helping Parents Heal board. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show that your earth-experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit www.soulproof.com for free newsletters, articles, radio interviews with top consciousness experts, and informational/transformative products that help you handle life’s biggest changes with style. Contact him at email@example.com to ask your most challenging questions about life, death, and afterlife.
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