Family and friends of those who die from suicide are so deeply devastated. They worry about the soul of their loved one who ended his or her earth-experience. They feel guilty about what they could have or shouldn’t have done or said to prevent it. Their grief is amplified by the fear that they may never see their loved one again because she will burn in hell or cease to exist.
Fear-based religions may teach that ending ones earth-experience is a sure ticket to a fiery eternal hell. However, much contemporary evidence shows that no such place exists and that everyone can enter the Light after dying—even those who extinguish their physical body. This evidence includes input from documented near-death experiences, after-death contacts, authentic mediums, spiritual regressions, wise and enlightened spiritual teachings, and common sense.
Conscious language is vital whenever discussing an important topic. I dislike the term “committed suicide” because committed is usually used with a crime as in ‘committed murder.’ I also avoid the terms “killed himself” and “took her own life” because those aren’t accurate descriptions of what really happens. Ones self cannot be destroyed and life is forever. I use “died by suicide,” “ended his earth-experience” or “extinguished her physical body.”
- Suicide is not an unforgiveable sin. Past religious teachings may have mentioned some unforgiveable sin. It’s a perfect control device since people project that whatever they are doing is it. But think about it. What good earthly parent would never forgive their child, no matter what the behavior? Same thing for the intelligence that created and sustains the cosmos.
- You will see her again. She didn’t destroy her entire self, just her body, the physical vehicle that housed her soul for a brief while. It’s impossible to kill ones essence, spirit, consciousness. You’ll see the real her again. That may happen when you pass on or could happen today. Over 75 million Americans have experienced an after-death contact with departed loved ones while awake or dreaming. So stay alert for subtle or unusual events.
- He won’t be judged or condemned. There is no judgment in spiritual dimensions. That is an earthly trait and one that early humans foisted upon Creator as they made Him/Her/It in a human image. Higher energy beings understand the degree of pain and/or imbalance your loved one must have felt to die from suicide. We on Earth can learn from them and do the same.
- She was lovingly attended to after her death. Spirit knows how difficult an earthly incarnation can be. Afterlife reports say that her soul will be lovingly and respectfully cared for by angels, guides and entities who look like fawns, puppies, kittens, and children. She will be surrounded with peace, under-standing, and compassion. It’s a perfect environment for starting the process of forgiving herself, if that is needed, and reentering the stream of life.
- He didn’t want to hurt you or anyone. In your life, have you ever said or done something you regretted later? Of course, we all have. Same thing with your loved one. He didn’t mean to hurt others. One of the most common lines in a suicide note is: “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t stand it anymore.” He did the best he could given his physical and mental state at the time. If you could hear him right now, he would apologize and make it clear that he never wanted to hurt you or anyone else. He will try to make it up to loved ones who were hurt by serving and growing in the hereafter and perhaps on Earth again someday.
- She was imbalanced or in severe pain. In the twenty-first century, there are so many ways that the brain can become imbalanced: chemicals, heavy metals, prescription and recreational drugs, vaccines, poor quality food and water, chemically-laden body care and home cleaning products. The list goes on and on. Plus, there’s the chronic stress and difficulties that go with living on planet Earth. It’s a lot to bear and some souls just can’t continue on. Let’s respond by solving the core problems so others don’t suffer and die too.
- Do not worry about his soul. From an earthly perspective, it may appear unfortunate that he extinguished his physical body. But from a cosmic viewpoint, suicide is just another way for a soul to return Home. His soul will be just fine so please don’t worry. There may be a period of rest, rehab, and healing needed for a while, but he will be lovingly attended to like the special and eternal part of life that he is.
- Do not hold yourself accountable. It’s common for loved ones to feel responsible or guilty. They torture themselves with thoughts of, “If only I had done this” or “If only I hadn’t said that.” If you could hear your departed loved one clearly, she would lovingly urge you to stop all that. “Should have, would have, could have” is not a productive habit here or in the hereafter.
- Do not be ashamed. When a loved one ends his earth-experience, some family or friends may judge or shun you. It’s a great way to erase insensitive or ignorant people from your relationship list. On the other hand, they may just be uncomfortable and not know what to say. Showing them this article is a start. It’s way past time to drop the stigma associated with suicide and remember that we are, at our core, eternal beings of love and light.
- You can learn and grow from this experience. There are always silver linings to every cloud and they’re proportionate to the degree of the tragedy. So look for the huge blessings to this one. Learning awareness practices such as meditation and prayer can help honor the death of your loved one. You can transform the pain and grief you feel into loving service to others. By taking these high roads, you create more meaning to his or her life and death.
Here is information I send to people with a loved one who died by suicide:
I am very sorry for all the pain, sadness, etc. that you feel when a loved one dies by suicide. You don’t really “lose” your loved one who transitions to the next stage of forever by any means . . . but it certainly seems like it.
I hope that you can move from deep anguish to, eventually, more peace and acceptance. One key is to visualize your loved one as resting, healing, and being comforted in a totally supportive environment with no judgment or punishment– only peace, caring, love and light.
Surviving — and even thriving — after the suicide of a loved one can take some time. Here are steps I recommend to quicken and lighten that process:
- Read Foundational Article#1 Documented Evidence That Life Never Ends on the lower left of the homepage of Soul Proof. This article provides documentation that your loved one is alive and well.
- Read article #4 When a Loved One Dies by Suicide to learn important considerations when a loved one dies by suicide
- Use Holistic Breathingto release pain, hopelessness, guilt, anger, and other lower energy emotions that loved ones of suicides usually feel.
- Read article #12 Seven Keys to Fine-Tune Your Body/Mind to learn how to care for yourself as you recover from this shock.
- consider getting in touch with Survivors of Suicide. This is a support group specifically for people with a loved one who died by suicide.
- The Pre-Birth Planning technique, also done under deep relaxation, may allow you to recall the planning and purposes behind even such a horrible event as suicide.
- Listen to Radio Shows in which I and other consciousness experts discuss the question, “What happens to the essence/soul of those who die by suicide?
- If the person who died by suicide was your child – no matter what his or her age – get in touch with Helping Parents Heal. There are many chapters in the U.S. and abroad and online meetings for those who don’t have a group yet in their area. You can talk with The Caring Listeners, specially trained bereaved parents, by phone, in person, or on Zoom/Skype at no charge.
- Use theHeal & Transform Your Sufferingtechnique to achieve just what the title says
- When you are ready, two ways to begin continuing a very real but different relationship right with your “departed” loved one include:a. read and take action steps described in Foundational Article #9: 12 Keys to Visiting with Your “Departed” Loved Onesb. use the Facilitated After-Death Contact
Over time, most people increasingly realize that their loved ones – even after suicide – are very much alive, well, and near. They are – or soon will be after some rest and rehabilitation – happy, peaceful, and living fully in the here and now moment. And they want you to be the same way now.
All of this doesn’t totally remove the grief and sadness at once, but it does lighten it over time. In addition, your suffering can serve others and enlighten you. And those are the reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
At the bottom of this article is a section from my book Soul Proof on the subject. There is some repetition but that’s a good thing for such an emotionally charged and complex topic.
(Note: Please read article #25 Did My Soul REALLY Plan All This? before reading the next section so you know the evidence and understandings behind this concept.)
Five Reasons Why Souls May Pre-Plan Suicide
- to experience despair and thus become more compassionate and empathetic
- to assist a loved one on earth who has gotten into the habit of giving up too easily during incarnations in other times/places
- to wake up the masses about what we are doing with: our food, air, and water; so many vaccinations and potentially harmful drugs; chemical and heavy metal-laden body care and home cleaning products; nutritionally deficient processed and junk food diets; and over-stimulation from sugar, artificial sweeteners, violent video games and media, and pornography.
- to create an exit point if life becomes too difficult. They may have chosen a very difficult path or a brain/body that was too sensitive to handle the density and difficulties on earth
- to gain a ticket back Home when a long earthly life isn’t needed. How else can souls of young people move into the next phase of forever except by what occurs, from a limited human perspective, to be a tragic illness, accident, suicide, or murder?
If I can think of five reasons, there are likely hundreds that we cannot fathom from our limited human perspectives.
“Why should anyone try to stop suicide if it may be preplanned?”
- What good person wouldn’t try to stop it?
- A preplanned possibility doesn’t mean it has to happen; there often are other options and attempts to stop suicide may trigger those
- We can’t know if it the possibility for suicide was set up or not so it’s better to err on the side of caution.
- Souls can change preplans and hope springs eternal
- It’s our nature as divine humans to take the high road whenever possible
Suicide: NOT an Unforgivable Sin
Most views about suicide have been shaped by near-sighted religious teachings that don’t take into account holistic factors that can affect the brain.
While hiking in the mountains, nineteen year-old “Bruce” breathed in polluted air that shifted out of the Phoenix valley. He died from a severe lung reaction. The combination of deep breathing with exertion, intense pollution, and perhaps preexisting asthma killed him.
“Tom” was a three varsity sport athlete and president of his high school class. He was well liked, loved his family, and was as happy a young man as you’ll meet. Tom had acne and his medical doctor prescribed a commonly prescribed drug that would help clear up his complexion. What the doctor didn’t tell him and his mom was that one of the many potential side-effects included suicidal ideation and behavior. Tom shot him self in the head several months after starting the drug.
Diagnosed as being bipolar, “Larry” tried to self-medicate with various illegal drugs. Marijuana, pain pills, then heroin. Each one helped for awhile, but then the inner torment returned. Larry went through rehab and his family hoped and prayed the worst was over. But a few months later during a time of stress, Larry used the same dose of drugs that he was on before rehab. He died from what was ruled an accidental overdose.
Bruce’s lungs were fatally damaged. Tom’s brains was affected so severely by prescription medications that he impulsively ended this earth-experience. Whether Larry’s overdose was intentional or accidental will never be known for sure.
Limited human minds are horrified by suicide. Some consider it an unforgiveable sin at worst or a moral or mental weakness at best. However, more evolved humans look more deeply – as One Mind/the Light/God certainly does – into the problem. From that viewpoint, Tom and Larry clearly had brain imbalances that led to their deaths. Their brains were negatively affected just as Bruce’s lungs were.
This discussion does not condone air pollution, harmful medications, or illegal drug use. It will, hopefully, lead to a greater understanding of and addressing core causes of common problems. Archaic religious teachings that Tom and Larry might suffer eternal hell only add to the guilt and pain of their families who surely do not need additional stress.
Those who end their earth-experience may choose to face similar challenges again with the goal of taking a higher energy option, but they are not forced to do so. They may experience temporary confusion and regret over their decision until they forgive themselves and move on. The Light always understands and assists. It doesn’t need to forgive because it doesn’t judge or condemn in the first place.
Those who extinguish their physical body may experience a temporary, self-created unpleasant experience as they realize their actions. This is not an eternal fiery hell imposed by a judgmental Deity but, rather, the result of self-judgment, guilt, and sadness. The movie, What Dreams May Come, beautifully portrayed the notion that we create our own hells and can gravitate toward more heavenly realms whenever we are ready to choose love and light—even after “suicide.”
Thinking of ending ones earth-experience is fairly common during very difficult times. Acting out these thoughts, however, is a huge step. Those who do so are usually in great mental and/or physical pain and imbalance. Examples include those with: intractable physical pain; severe emotional distress; mental confusion because of alcohol/drug abuse; abnormal brain function due to nutritional deficiencies and excess chemicals or heavy metals; or side-effects from prescription medications such as anti-depressants.
Parenthetically, safe, affordable, natural and effective (SANE) treatments often exist for such problems. Counseling, chiropractic, acupuncture, nutritional healing, integrative medicine, and just the passage of time may help.
If nutritional deficiencies are affecting the brain, it’s difficult for a person to think clearly. This predicament is multiplied when stressors such as chemical or heavy metal toxicity is also involved. Excess growth of viruses, yeast, and other microorganisms can be another aggravating factor. The standard American diet and pollution of food, air, and water causes dysfunction of the brain and other vital organs in many people. Symptoms such as depression, anxiety, panic, insomnia, etc. are the body’s way of communicating that something is awry.
These problems can usually be corrected with whole food supplements, a real food diet, and optimal self-care practices. For more about this, see my book, Radiant Wellness: A Holistic Guide for Optimal Body, Mind & Spirit. I highly recommend Nutrition Response Testing (www.unsinc.info), Systems Strength Analysis (www.doctorofthefuture.org) or Applied Kinesiology (www.icakusa.com) to cover these bases. If you or a loved one are thinking of suicide and want help, you can find a clinician in your area at. If your loved one ended his or her earth-experience, natural care can help you recover from the shock.
Those who extinguish their physical bodies, especially young people, may have volunteered—on a soul level—to suffer and die in an attempt to awaken humanity to the importance of clean, healthy food, air and water. These individuals are often more sensitive—both emotionally and physically—and thus suffer more than the general population when imbalances exist. In that sense, they are like canaries in a coalmine who are lovingly warning the rest of us.
Another group of people more prone to suicide are those souls who came to Earth prematurely or impetuously. As such, they were not well prepared to handle the inevitable stresses and challenges. Such people may leave notes saying they just couldn’t live on this planet any longer. They felt like they didn’t fit in or some mistake was made about the timing of their life.
I can understand how people in all of these circumstances might impulsively make the decision to end their pain. Surely God, the Ground of All Being, does as well.
Validated mediums such as James Van Praagh, Rosemary Altea and George Anderson agree that those who end their physical experience do not go to a dark place. Just like the prodigal son story in The Bible, Creator is always ready to welcome them Home whenever they are open to that.
Those who extinguish their physical bodies are reported to often recover in special settings with much comfort, healing, and unconditional regard. These souls may spend time in a very peaceful and safe realm inhabited only by loving creatures like puppies, kittens, and fawns. Recovering souls are watched over by guides and angels and receive loving assistance and guidance whenever they ask for it.
One example of clinical evidence is the spiritual regression work of Michael Newton, Ph.D., as described in Journey of Souls and Destiny of Souls. While assisting many thousands of subjects in recalling their time between lives in physical realms, he and other therapists have found there is no punishment from an external source for “suicide.” His clients report that punishment is an earthly condition that doesn’t happen in other dimensions.
Dr. Newton describes souls who end their earth-experience as often feeling disappointed at their poor judgment because they didn’t utilize better options. However, those who escape from severe chronic pain or incapacity feel no remorse for ending their earth-experience. Their soul mates and spiritual teachers also have a more accepting view in these cases.
When you were young, did your parents ever spank you, and then when you were crying hard, say: “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to really cry about?” Mine didn’t, but it was a fairly common parental strategy that didn’t make sense then or now.
Neither does the idea that those who are in such dire straits that they terminate their physical body would encounter a God that says, “So, you died by suicide, eh? Now I’m going to show you what rough really is! Break out the pitchforks, boys! Off you go to burn in hell forever!” Such medieval nonsense has caused enough confusion and separation from the Divine so let’s upgrade our understandings.
Consider this issue in light of the collective evidence. At our essence, we humans are infinite beings of energy who are part and parcel of Universal Energy. How, then, can we ever be separated from our Source? Any perceived disconnect is an erroneous belief that darkness can prevail over Light.
Some people feel that their churches fail them when a loved one ends his or her earth-experience. Certain churches teach that it’s “a slap in the face to God.” Portraying the Divine in our human image can lead to many problems so let’s examine this one more closely. First of all, can Universal Intelligence really be slapped? And is God so small that it’s an insult when people are in so much pain, turmoil or imbalance that they take this leap? The Infinite is much more wise, loving, and understanding than that.
Fortunately, some denominations and spirituality sources correctly recognize that all souls are, by their very nature, one with All That Is. I recommend Unity, Unitarian-Universalist, Science of Mind, Religious Science, United Church of Christ, and other open-minded, loved-based churches. These wise and compassionate views recognize that there is a special plan for such tragic events. That makes sense.
Think about it: if your children made any mistake, no matter how bad, would you consign them to a fiery hell or annihilation forever? Of course not. Surely Creator is at least as loving, forgiving, and understanding as the best earthly parents.
Let me know if I can assist you in any way if a loved one has ended their earth-experience or if you are seriously considering that option for any reason.
Love and life are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
PS – Exciting new scientific technology is emerging to allow communicating with our loved ones who have changed worlds. Various SoulPhone® devices are now being researched and developed in the Laboratory for Advances in Consciousness and Health (LACH) at the University of Arizona.
Gary Schwartz, PhD, the lead researcher, estimates there is a 90 – 95% chance that the SoulSwitch, a binary indicator allowing “yes” or “no” answers to questions, will be ready in about one year after being funded. The SoulText has the same estimate of being available in approximately two years. After that, the next anticipated device is SoulAudio (like a phone), then SoulVideo (video and audio capabilities like Skype and Zoom) Please share this great potential news with others and have hope. To learn more, visit www.SoulPhone.org
Note: My products are designed to assist your journey of healing and transformation. If you need a product, but cannot afford it, we will send you a digital copy at no charge.
Disclaimer: This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. Dr. Pitstick’s recommendations are based on over forty years of training and experience in hospitals, pastoral counseling settings, mental health centers, and holistic chiropractic practice. Some of his statements are supported by clinical and scientific data while others are based on empirical evidence and his best current understandings.
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, clinical psychologist, chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is Director of The SoulPhone Foundation, International Vice-President of Eternea, and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Mark can help you know and show — no matter what is going on around you — that your earth-experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit Soul Proof for free articles, newsletters, and radio shows with top consciousness experts. Email your toughest questions to him at firstname.lastname@example.org.