Family and friends of a person whose body died by suicide are understandably devastated. They often feel guilty about what they could or shouldn’t have done or said to prevent it. Surviving loved ones understandably may feel angry or resentful for all the associated pain and loss. Family and friends sometimes face judgment and avoidance from supposed friends and self-righteous ministers. The grief of those left behind might be amplified by fears about the fate of their loved ones soul.
Fire and brimstone denominations based on understandings from the Dark Ages teach that ending ones earth-experience is a sure ticket to a fiery eternal hell.
However, much contemporary evidence shows that no such place as hell exists.
Further, indications are that everyonecan enter the Light after dying—even those who extinguish their physical body. This evidence includes input from:
* documented near-death experiences (NDEs)
* after-death communications (ADCs)
* evidential mediums
* life between lives (LBL) sessions
* more enlightened religious / spiritual teachings
* common sense about how a fair and loving Creator would act
(NOTE: I will not use the terms ‘departed, deceased, or dead’ since those have such strongly entrenched – and, according to much contemporary evidence – erroneous meanings about the end of life. Instead, I will use more accurate terms: changed worlds, passed on, physical or bodily death / die, orcrossed over. Other more factual descriptors for what happens after physical death include: transitioned / moved to the next phase of forever, reentered the field of all possibilities, dropped the body, andgraduated from earth-school.)
In addition, I will avoid the terms ‘killed himself, took her own life, and died by suicide’ because those aren’t accurate descriptions of what really happens. Life cannot be destroyed because energy / consciousness / spirit is forever. I instead use ‘ended his earth-experience, extinguished her physical body, and his body died by suicide.’
Here are ten points that you must know . . .
1.Suicide is NOT an unforgiveable sin. Past religious teachings may have mentioned some unforgiveable sin. This belief from the Middle Ages is a perfect control device since people project that whatever they are doing is IT. But think about it. What good earthly parent would never forgive their child, no matter what the transgression? Wouldn’t you expect the Power and Intelligence that created and sustains the cosmos to be at least that loving?
I and eleven great minds about consciousness topics – Raymond Moody, Caroline Myss, Anita Moorjani, Gary Schwartz, and others – discuss contemporary understandings about this and other big questions about life in The Eleven Questions.
2. You will see her again. She didn’t destroy her entire self, just the physical vehicle that housed her soul for a brief while. It’s impossible to kill your essence, spirit, consciousness. You’ll see her again. That may happen when you pass on or could happen today. Over 75 million Americans have experienced an After-Death Communicationwith loved ones whose bodies died. Stay alert for subtle signs or unusual events.
Imagine that your dearest loved one was in a horrible auto accident. You arrive on the scene to find the car caved in and totally damaged. You can’t imagine that she survived, but somehow she did. Consider how happy you would feel to learn that your dear was alive.
That is the same reaction you can chooseto have about a dear one who ended her earthly experience. Only the bodily vehicle that briefly housed her spirit was destroyed. Over 99.9% of her essence is still very much alive and well– much like the girl who survived the totaled car. Perhaps you can focus on that great news to help heal more quickly and thoroughly.
- He won’t be judged or condemned. Reports from multiple sources say that there is no judgment from higher energy assistants – angels, guides, master teachers, and evolved energies.Likewise, the Light / Source does not hand down harsh sentences and punish for anything – even suicide.However, the person who ended his earthly experience may not initially accept his actions and forgive himself. That can create the need for temporary sleep, rehabilitation, and counseling as the newly arrived soul adapts to what happened and how he can do better.Judgment and condemnation are earthly traits that uninformed humans put upon Creator as they made Her in a human image. Higher energy beings understand the degree of pain and / or imbalance your loved one must have felt to end his physical body. They react with love, healing, guidance, and assistance. We on earth can do the same.
- She was lovingly tended to after her death. Life Source knows how difficult an earthly incarnation is. Afterlife reports say that her soul will be lovingly and respectfully cared for by angels and guides. Your dear one will be nurtured and comforted by unconditionally loving puppies, kittens, and fawns. She will be surrounded with peace, understanding, patience, and compassion. It’s a perfect environment for starting the process of forgiving herself, if that is needed, and reentering the stream of life.
- He didn’t want to hurt you or anyone. Have you ever said or done something you regretted later? Of course, we all have. The same thing is true with your loved one who terminated his physical body. He didn’t mean to devastate you. He did the best he could given his physical and mental state at the time. Suicide notes often contain a variation of the following sentence: “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.”If you could hear him right now, he would apologize and make it clear that he never wanted to hurt you or anyone else. He would let you know that is still very much alive. Unless the potential for suicide was designed to help others, (see article #25 Did My Soul REALLY Plan All This?) he is working to correct the underlying problems. He will try to heal, learn, grow, and better serve others in the hereafter and perhaps on earth again someday.
- She was imbalanced and / or in severe pain. In the 21stcentury, there are so many ways that the brain can become imbalanced. These include excess chemicals and heavy metals, prescription and recreational drugs, vaccines, poor quality food and water, chemical and emotional overstimulation, deficiencies of key nutrients, and other root causes.In addition, there’s the chronic stress and difficulties that go with living on this planet. It’s a lot to bear; some souls just can’t continue on. Let’s respond by solving the core problems so others don’t suffer too. For more on this vital topic, see my books Radiant Wellnessand Greater Reality Living.
- Do not worry about his soul. From an earthly perspective, it may appear horribly tragic that he extinguished his physical body. But from a cosmic viewpoint, suicide is just another way for a soul to return Home.His soul will be just fine so please don’t worry.Good evidence, for example, from Michael Newton PhD and Joseph Gallenberger PhD, indicates that souls who end their earthly experience by suicide may need to rest and heal for some time after physical death. But you can be assured that he will be lovingly attended to like the integral, eternal, and beloved part of life that he is.
- Do not hold yourself accountable.It’s common for loved ones to feel responsible or guilty. They torture themselves with thoughts of, “If only I had done this” or “If only I hadn’t said that.” If you could hear your departed loved one clearly, she would lovingly urge you to stop all that. “Should have, would have, could have” is not a productive habit here or in the hereafter.
- Do not be ashamed. Some family or friends may judge or shun you. It’s a great way to erase insensitive and ignorant people from your relationship list. On the other hand, they may just be uncomfortable and not know what to say. Showing them this article is a start. It’s way past time to drop the stigma associated with suicide. It is time to remember that we each are, at our core, deathless beings of love and light.
- You can learn and grow from this experience. There are always silver linings to every cloud and they’re proportionate to the degree of the tragedy. So look for the huge blessings to this one. Using awareness enhancing practices such as meditation and prayer can help you find ways to honor the bodily death of your loved one. You can transform the pain and grief you feel into a spiritually transformative experience and loving service to others. By taking these high roads, you create more meaning to her life and death.
I send the following to people with a loved one whose body died by suicide. Some of it was mentioned above but repetition is the essence of learning:
I am very sorry for all the pain, sadness, etc. that you feel when a loved ones body dies by suicide. You don’t really “lose” your loved one who transitions to the next stage of forever by any means. . . but it certainly seems like it.
I hope that you can move from deep anguish to, eventually, more peace and acceptance. One key is to visualize your loved one as resting, healing, and being comforted in a totally supportive environment with no judgment or punishment– only peace, caring, love and light.
My recommendations for surviving – and even thriving – after the suicide of a loved one include:
1.Read Foundational Article #1 Scientific Evidence That Life Never Endson the homepage of Soul Proof. This article provides solid documentation that your loved one who ended his earthly experience is nonetheless very much alive and well. The books Soul Proofand Greater Reality Livingprovide all the known evidence that consciousness survives bodily death.
- Read article #4 When a Loved Ones Body Dies by Suicideto learn important considerations when a loved one dies by suicide
- Use Holistic Breathingto release pain, hopelessness, guilt, anger, and other lower energy emotions that loved ones of suicides usually feel.
- Read article #12 7 Keys to Holistically Fine-Tune Yourselfto learn how to care for yourself as you recover from this shock.
- Consider getting in touch with Survivors of Suicide. This is a support group specifically for people with a loved one who died by suicide.
- Read the Suicide: Not An Unforgivable Sinsection in the Religion & Spirituality Inputchapter of my book Soul Proof. This will help you better know that life is forever, no matter how a person passes on.
- Listen to Radio Showsin which I and other consciousness experts discuss the question, “What happens to the essence/soul of those who die by suicide?”
- When you are ready, two ways to begin continuing a very real but different relationship right with your “departed” loved one include:
- read and take action steps described in Foundational Article#9: 12 Keys to Visiting with Your “Departed” Loved Ones
- use the Facilitated After-Death Contact session.
Over time, most people increasingly realize that their loved ones – even after suicide – are very much alive, well, and near. They are – or soon will be after some rest and rehabilitation – happy, peaceful, and living fully in the here and now moment. And they want you to be the same way now.
All of this doesn’t totally and immediately remove the grief and sadness, but it often lightens it over time. In addition, your suffering can serve others and enlighten you. And those are the reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
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Thank you for sharing this article with others who can use it. I hope that this article – and taking the action steps discussed – help you feel more happy, healthy, peaceful, clear, and energetic. You deserve to feel that way and the world needs your greatest gifts.
Life and love are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is director of The Soul Phone Foundation, co–founder of Greater Reality Living Groups,and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show– no matter what is going on around you – that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit About Dr. Mark Pitstickfor his full bio.
Note: Because of his many outreaches, Dr. Pitstick can no longer answer complex and multiple questions from individuals. However, he has created many resources to answer your biggest questions and provide holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.
- Free articles, radio shows, and newsletters:* Articles for Transformation and Healing(onSoulProof.comhome page) address the most common questions, concerns, and challenges about life, death, and afterlife.
* Radio Shows (top tab of SoulProof.com) share his answers and those of top experts to life’s biggest questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? What happens after I die? Is there a God? Why is there so much suffering? Why must children die?” and others.
- Audio Products – CDs and digital downloads – allow you to benefit from quality sessions at home for a fraction of the cost of an office visit.These Transformational Audio Productsuse deep relaxation, visualization, breath work, and other techniques to access your inner wisdom, visit with “departed” loved ones, release old wounds and lower energy emotions, evaluate your pre-birth planning, have past life regressions, and more.
- Books and documentary film: these products (visit Shop) provide specific information to help you know and showthat you are a forever being of consciousness / energy / spirit and how you can live accordingly.
- Webinars and workshops: to learn about these and other updates, subscribe to the free email newsletters at SoulProof.comand SoulPhone.org.5. Greater Reality Living Groups: Dr. Pitstick and Dr. Gary Schwartz co-founded the organization for local and online groups. For more information, visit Greater Reality Living Groups.6. SoulPhone Newsletter:Receive research and development updates on this life and world transformative spirit communication technology being developed at the Laboratory for Advancement in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. A prototype of the first device, the SoulSwitch, may be reliably functioning as soon as 2018. This breakthrough will constitute 100% scientific proof that life continues after physical death and the many wonderful benefits that accompany that knowledge. To receive updates, join the newsletter at SoulPhone.org.
7. Coaching/Counseling Session:these can occur in person, by phone, or on Zoom. To learn more, visit Coaching/Counseling Session
Disclaimer:This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. My remarks are based on over forty-five years of study, training, personal experience, and professional service. Extensive clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence supports much, but not all, of what I say. My current best understandings may change over time. I do not claim to have all the answers or the only answers. My hope is that this information assists you to consider what makes the most sense to you.