by Mark Pitstick MA, DC

If you’ve not already, please read . . .

  1. ‘The Great News‘ (article #19 at SoulProof.com/Articles)
  2. ‘Eight Developments for Widespread Conscious Living Now’ (#125)
  3. Greater Reality LIVING Program: Integrating ‘The 8 Developments’ Into Your Daily Life (#72)
  4. Greater Reality HEALING Program: Journeying FROM Deeply Grieving TO Brightly Shining (#82)

The evidence-based information and holistic resources outlined in these articles will help you to:

  • realize your true nature as an eternal being of consciousness / life-force / energy 
  • receive guidance and assistance from highly evolved energies and Source / The Light
  • heal old wounds, release lower energies, and update erroneous teachings
  • create the greatest life YOU have envisioned (YOU = your higher self / soul)
  • help others by sharing your greatest gifts
  • make our world a better place

As enough people do this, widespread personal and planetary change will naturally unfold. 

Optimal Relationships for More Evolved People

Having great relationships can be tricky for people on the path to knowing and showing their true nature. 

To define my term, evolved people include those who are intermediate to advanced souls.  Another way to say this is they have and are higher energies.  Such persons tend to question and search instead of blindly accepting what others in their family believe.  They tend to focus more on peace, joy, love, gratitude, fulfillment, service, enlightenment, and enthusiasm instead of lower energy versions of these emotions / ways of being. 

Simply put, more evolved persons have more advanced emotions that reflect their personal energy.  They need to fine-tune every aspect of their lives – physical health, mental balance, relationships, life-work, etc. – or suffer disproportionately compared to ‘average earthlings.’

I do not use the term ‘average earthlings’ in a judgmental or critical way.  It’s just that they and more evolved person see the world differently and want to live accordingly.  Michael Newton PhD, founder of Lives Between Lives therapy, estimated that 85% of humans are beginner souls, 12% are intermediate, and only 3% are advanced. 

You may want to read that last sentence a few times.  It’s based on replicated clinical research and explains many facets of life on earth. 

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you may be a more evolved person if at least several of the following apply to you more than the average person . . .   

  1. desire more peace and quiet

  2. deeply appreciate time in nature

  3. have a general lack of interest in sensationalistic daily news, drama, gossip, etc. 

  4. feel better when eating a more pure and healthy diet with no or minimal flesh foods

  5. experience falling away of superficial relationships

  6. feel like a “stranger in a strange land”

  7. desire to spend more time with kindred spirits who may be found in places such as open-hearted and minded churches and spiritual groups, meditation groups, art performances, holistic health centers, drum and chanting circles, service groups, etc. 

  8. feel called to be of more service to others

  9. aware of importance of honoring your personal energy and needs

  10. want to lighten your physical body by losing weight, detoxing, exercise, sauna, sweating, healthy fasting, etc.  

  11. are more sensitive to negative energy of others, violent TV shows, being on computer or other electronic devices too much, etc. 

More evolved persons often seek a higher spiritual path.  Some Native American teachers call it ‘the red road.’  Other cultures call it ‘the great way, the path with heart, or following the Holy Spirit’.  Learning more about the greater reality – all that exists – and how they might best contribute to its optimal unfoldment is often very important to more evolved people.  Seekers of this way are generally less interested in excessive materialism, ego-centered pursuits, controlling others, and following doctrines that don’t make sense to them. 

However, identifying that you are different from many of earth and living congruently can be tricky.  Having soulmate relationships is a huge key to living an awakened life.  (That term does not imply there is just one soulmate for you.  Rather, I use Newton’s findings that most people have 25 or so primary soulmates with larger numbers of secondary and tertiary ones.)

More evolved persons are often more sensitive and empathic than average earthlings.  To learn more about this topic, see article #23 at SoulProof.com – Are You a Sensitive or Empath?  As such, they have to figure out how to stay centered, shield themselves from negative energies, identify and fulfill their higher callings, and find their best place, lifework, and kindred spirits.  It’s a tall order and some, perhaps many, falter along the way.  They may give up and live isolated lives.  I’m not judging, but the world needs all evolved hands on deck right now. 

Others seek to self-medicate with alcohol and/or drugs.  That strategy usually has negative consequences for them and their loved ones.  Again, I’m not condemning, just reporting what I’ve seen after working with many thousands of people over the last 48 years.  Numbing oneself out on a regular basis may result in not facing life’s challenges head on and the resultant growth.  

Some evolved persons – especially those who are quite sensitive and empathic – try suicide to signal for help or end their time on earth.  Often, their suicide notes reflect that they just couldn’t take it anymore.  They often didn’t reach out and ask for help.  Years of drug and/or alcohol use increased the chances of making impulsive decisions or throwing in the towel.  

Having great relationships among family, friends, and – if desired – a significant other is one of the most important keys to living optimally and enjoying the greatest life you have envisioned.  Having a close circle of loved ones provides support and resources for venturing out into the world in more successful ways.  They are allies, trusted dear ones you can count on to be there for you.  Make a priority of forging relationships with people you can share your deepest thoughts and feelings without fear of being betrayed, judged, or ridiculed. 

If you decide to increasingly march to your own drummer, be prepared to lose – partially or altogether – family and friends who may want you to remain the same.  This can feel heartbreaking the first few times it happens and you are harshly judged for being different.  When I was young, I assumed that my closest relationships would come from the ranks of my immediate and extended family.  With a few exceptions, that’s not been the case. 

Here’s how I’ve learned to deal with this dynamic depending on if they are:

  • Acquaintances: I don’t waste my time in trying to salvage the relationship

  • Good friends: I try to talk with them about it and explain that I am going through some shifts.I express my hope that we can remain close despite taking different paths.  However, I also require respect and openness, or the friendship is over. 

  • Family: I try as much as possible to honor that relationship since chasms can hurt others in the family.I try the same strategy as with #2.  If the relationship doesn’t improve, I limit my time around them.  I also maintain an energetic / emotional shield so their slings and arrows don’t negatively impact me. 

If you are sensitive, empathic, and evolved, you may want to employ this self-protection approach:

  • Start each day with a prayer or intention that you are guided and assisted by angels, higher energies, and the Light.Ask for protection and shielding from lower energy emotions and people.  Affirm that – no matter is going on within or around you – that you are always balanced, centered, and walk with Spirit.
     
  • With that guard in place, give people a chance as your set point.However, be aware of energy sappers and zappers; when you encounter these – you can feel lower energies affecting you – raise your barriers so they cannot hurt or drain you. 

  • I consider two types of relationships: those in my inner circle and those who aren’t.The former have demonstrated that I can trust them and be myself.  When I will be around those who aren’t in my inner circle, I mentally prepare myself. 

Significant other relationships can be especially tricky for evolved persons when one person is and the other isn’t strongly on a spiritual path.  Young people often make marital decisions on physical attractiveness, chemistry, income, similar choices of church and having children, etc.  These are important, but rarely does anyone at that age consider the long-term consequences of deeply personal interests.  Nor are most youth even aware of what those are.  Here’s an example . . .

At 26 years of age, Mike was looking for a woman with these features: good looking, great body, good in bed, likes to cook, loving, and a good job.  He met Justine who had all of these attributes.  Soon, they had two children, a beautiful home, great income, and all the other things that people think will make them happy. 

However, Mike resumed his earlier interests in yoga, meditation, and afterlife studies.  Every morning, he awoke early and spent 1 ½ hours to reach inner peace and balance.  When he went upstairs, Justine had finishing her second cup of coffee while watching the news.  As a result, they were looking through differently colored glasses. 

She was anxious and concerned about many things in life while his assumption was that everything would work out just fine.  Mike enjoyed attending classes on spirituality and holistic health.  Justine liked to go to craft stores and collect knick-knacks.  Before they fell asleep, he read higher thought literature while she read romantic love stories with the perfect couple on the cover. 

Over time, they predictably grew apart.  They never fought and were still intimate.  They respected each other and worked well together as parents and home owners.  But their relationship slowly morphed into existing and living under the same roof.  They were just too different, and always had been, but didn’t realize it until reaching this developmental stage.    

In their late 40’s, the prospect of living another 40 years in an empty relationship – did death did they part – felt awful to Mike.  Justine was less aware of these dynamics and became upset and fearful when Mike tried to discuss them.  Marriage counseling didn’t help and, sadly, they got a dissolution.  It was heartbreaking for both of them, but allowed them to find more compatible partners. 

Like Mike, I’ve had my share of relationship challenges.  Looking back, I was looking for a very evolved person but didn’t know it.  Finally, at age 52, I began the best relationship I’ve had in my life.  She is a step ahead of me in many ways and highly advanced in almost every aspect.  It’s wonderful to finally have someone who views this earthly experience similarly.  She is committed to creating and enjoying heaven on earth for ourselves and others.  I wish this level of happiness and harmony for everyone. 

Perhaps they both needed to experience all that for various reasons.  Or perhaps they could have made better choices prior to marriage if they were more aware of what was ultimately most important to them.  (But how many young people have the maturity to consider these issues along with everything else?) 

If you are currently deciding whether to make a commitment to someone, you may want to do one or more of the following:

      –  use the Ask Your Soul technique and set your intention beforehand

     – Have a Lives Between Lives session to discover whether the person in question is an optimal choice or not.Visit org to learn more and find a practitioner.
 
     – Seek counseling from someone who specializes in optimal relationships. My dear friends Otto and Susie Collins provide this service; visit com

     – Consider using techniques mentioned below under #3 and 8. 

Many more evolved people with sensitive abilities and alternative beliefs stay closeted much like gays.  I’ve counseled a number of gays who knew they weren’t really attracted to the opposite sex.  But they denied their inner feelings and tried to live a lie to fit in. 

Why?  To avoid the likely judgment and upheaval that can accompany coming out.  Evolved persons sometimes do the same: they keep going to the same church, talk about safe subjects, and hide their true selves from their original tribe of family and friends.  That usually doesn’t work over time.   

Recommendations for enjoying optimal relationships . . .  

  1. Be yourself. That’s the key to developing optimal relationships in a nutshell!  When you live in alignment with who you really are, you express your uniqueness and special nature.  No matter how and who you are, some people will like you, while others won’t.  So you might as well do your thing.  Select your relationships from those who like and love your authentic self.  Doing this avoids draining your personal energy from denying what you really enjoy and believe.  Being your best self puts you in the flow of love and vitality that attracts others who are similar.   

  2. Remember this: being alone does not require you to feel lonely. You can use the extra time to improve yourself and attract better relationships when the time is right.  As you increasingly like and love yourself, you’ll actually enjoy your own company more.

  3. Realize that perceived abandonment issues by close family and friends are a common cause of feeling alone and unworthy of optimal relationships. This can stem from actual rejection or what seems that way to you. 

    Abandonment issues can also result from feeling alienated from Source.  You may have been mistakenly taught that the Creator and Sustainer of all life is separate, judgmental, and vengeful.  You may have been erroneously convinced that you are a lowly sinner who doesn’t deserve assistance from angels, guides, and other higher beings. 

    Some religious denominations like to focus on this a lot.  It used to be a great way to control the flock, increase attendance, and assure ample monetary giving.  But that scam has seen better days.  Only 19% of Americans, for example, now regularly attend church. 

    Think about it.  How could a loving God ever imagine something as schizoid as children being born into sin?  Or what twisted Creator would require His only son to suffer and die so He would decide to forgive the hopelessly sinful people that He created?  (Note: replace the personal pronouns of ‘He / Him’ with ‘She / Her’ and these teachings will seem even more bizarre and inaccurate.) 

    What does this have to do with relationships?  A lot.  Believing such horrific notions about yourself makes it very difficult or impossible to love yourself, consider yourself lovable, and be loved by others.  If you think God may judge and condemn you to a fiery eternal hell, what does that do to your self-image and self-worth?

    These archaic beliefs can be released along with the accompanying wounds, stuck energies, and needless fears.  The Holistic Breathing Technique and other resources listed in this article are among the most powerful ways I know to do that.  I also recommend reading articles #13 – 15 at SoulProof.com.  
     
  4. Remembering your true nature makes you less needy and smothering. Take time to identify with and nourish a relationship with your inner existing self and the Divine.  You will be able to enjoy an optimal relationship more when you know who you are, why you are here, and Who walks beside / within you always. 
     
  5. Take a logical approach to broken relationships. If it didn’t work out, then either:
  • You and/or the other person need to improve your ways of interacting and being

  • It wasn’t a good match so you really don’t need or want it in your life.(However, there may still be some sadness until you fully process that.) 
  1. Use centering practices such as prayer, meditation, yoga, serving others, and quiet time in nature to improve all aspects of your life. This, in turn, will increase attraction to and from others who are similarly more evolved. 

  2. Avoid lower energy pursuits such as excess alcohol, drugs, gambling, violence, excess gaming, porn, watching too much TV and news that interfere with higher energy relationships. 

    More evolved people are often sensitive to excess noise, large crowds, and superficial and ego-centered interactions. Knowing this can help you attract and deepen meaningful relationships with similar people.  At the least, others will understand how you are and not take it personally. 

  3. Use the Pre-Birth Planning and/or Past Life Regression techniques to evaluate whether you may have preplanned having a relationship with a certain person. You can also evaluate current positive or negative relationships from the enhanced perspective during those techniques. 

  4. Meet kindred spirits at places you most love and enjoy. Your list will likely be different, but these are places I’ve found where more evolved persons congregate:

    – Unity and other Higher Thoughts Centers such as Unitarian Universalist, Buddhist, Religious Science, Hindu temples, Centers for Spiritual Living, Spiritualist, and Native American spirituality groups

    – other churches and spirituality centers with open-hearted, open-minded, and service-oriented focuses.  Places that teach love and practicing the Golden Rule.

    – spiritual awareness and holistic health centers, classes and retreats

         – meditation and yoga classes and groups

         – drum circles, kirtan groups, sound healing, and Sufi dancing groups

  1. Expanding your circle of dear ones is especially important if you’ve had a powerful spiritually transformative experience. Those can be so life-defining that you may want to be around others who had similar experiences or, at least, have great interest in the topic. Examples include:

    –   GreaterRealityLiving.com groups for those who want to learn the collective afterlife evidence and consider how that changes the way they live and treat others now.

    – IANDS.org groups for those with near-death experiences

    – IONS.org groups for those seeking to merge science and consciousness studies

    – HelpingParentsHeal.org groups for bereaved parents / family members who want to find and share the silver linings of a child’s passing

    – MonroeInstitute.org for people who have had or want to have out-of-body experiences
  1. Make new friends but keep the old – just like the old song says. I have many dear friends ranging from grade school to very recent.  Everyone is busy so maybe we only talk or see each other a few times a year.  But we have so much history that we quickly pick up where we left off.  Such long term relationships are priceless.
     
  2. Reach out to estranged friends and family IF you feel called to do so. (But do so out of feeling you want to rekindle that relationship, not because of guilt or ‘shoulds’.)

  3. Use the Holistic Breathing Technique to become more aware and attract great relationships. Before starting the session, set the intention to have more happy, loving, and healthy relationships.  Then start breathing and see what pops in. 

  4. When first getting to know someone, ‘break the ice’ with superficial talk, if necessary, for a little while before inviting deeper discussions. Some of my favorite ways to do this are by asking: ‘Where did you grow up?  Who do you know at this ___ (party, gathering, meeting)?  Where did you get that ___ (item of clothing or jewelry)?  What do you think about ___ (a timely topic that you are really interested in)?

    Doing this provides a gauge as to whether you should attempt to self-disclose what is most important to you, or whether you should move on. 

  5. Be a good listener. So few people really listen during a conversation.  If you do, and then ask follow up questions to what the person just shared, you will be considered an exemplary conversationalist. 

  6. Ask about the other person instead of talking too much about yourself. Many years ago, I visited my grandma and asked, ‘How are you doing?’  Her answer astounded me.  ‘Thank you for asking, but I would rather talk about what’s new with you.  I know all about my life.  What going on in yours?’  I’ve learned that hearing what’s new with others is often much more interesting and informative than listening to myself talk about what I already know. 

  7. Use this simple formula for creating optimal relationships – whether you are looking for a good friend or significant other:

    – Pray and/or intend to find this person in the right way and time.

    – Write out the attributes you desire in this person. Don’t think about it too much, just let it pour out as you consider the highest possibilities.

    – Conduct a fearless introspection and consider: are you the kind of person who would attract someone you just described above?

    – If you aren’t, make inner and outer changes so you are more of a match in body, mind, and spirit.

    – Frequent places where you are most likely to meet the a person for the relationship you desire. To give an obvious example, if you want to meet a healthy and sober person, don’t look for him or her at closing time in bars.

  8. Hesitate before being hurt and taking it personally if you are sensitive and empathic. Follow the steps in article #23 at SoulProof.com to ground, center, and shield yourself so you don’t take small and unintentional slights personally.  That will help you enjoy better relationships more so than if you are often overly reactive. 

  9. Expand your relationship options by being more open to people of different cultures, skin color, sexual orientation, religion, socio-economic group, age, etc. When you meet someone new, look into their eyes, listen to their words, and feel their heart.  Give them a chance to share their soul so you can do the same. 

  10. If you want someone who is perfect, you’ll never have close friends, family, or lover.

I hope this article helps you attract optimal relationships of all types.  You deserve those.  Loving relationships are one of the many joys of life.  Heart connections continue beyond bodily death so don’t fear wasting your time or having your heart destroyed.  Life and love are eternal, remember?                                    

                                           *       *       *       *     *       *      *

Thank you for telling others about this article!  Your life, and that of others around you, will be more enriched when you:  

  1. read the article again so you really know it.
     
  2. discuss with close family and friends to more deeply internalize it.
     
  3. take action steps that seem right for you.
     
  4. share it with others via social media, discussion groups, and other ways.

Hugs, love, blessings, and let it shine!
Mark

Mark Pitstick, MA, DC
author, lecturer, counselor, and holistic chiropractic physician; spokesperson, research assistant, and strategic planner for the SoulPhone Project; founder of Greater Reality Living, Healing, Helping, and Sharing Programs

SoulProof.com    SoulPhone.org   GreaterRealityPrograms.com

Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is a master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, and clinical nutritionist.  He has also helped others in pastoral counseling and suicide prevention / education settings.  His goal is to help you know and show that this earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst eternity. 

To learn more about the Greater Reality LIVING, HEALING, HELPING, and SHARING Programs, visit ‘Greater Reality Programs’ top tab at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org.  Also see  articles #19, 72, 82, 119, 122, and 125 at SoulProof.com/Articles.

SoulProof.com provides many FREE resources:

  • 8 e-books Radiant Wellness, Soul Proof, The Eleven Questions, Greater Reality Living, The Big Picture of Life, The Afterlife Evidence, Ask the Soul Doctor, and Shining Light Parents Speak
  • 10 audio programs Holistic Breathing; Afterlife Contact; Ask Your Soul, Angels, and The Light; Pre-Birth Planning; Identify and Fulfill Your Purposes AND Enjoy Your Greatest Life; Your Life Review; Appreciate, Realize, and Transform; Love, Acceptance, and Forgiveness; Past Life Regression; Heal and Transform Your Suffering
  • 4 audio books (Greater Reality Living, Soul Proof, Radiant Wellness, and Shining Light Parents Speak; we don’t have control over the others)
  • 125 Articles (as of 3/1/25) answering the most commonly asked questions and providing holistic solutions for your toughest challenges
  • 25 Radio Shows: interviews with experts on consciousness, afterlife, and creating an optimal earthly experience. These include Wayne Dyer, Brian Weiss, Anita Moorjani, Raymond Moody, Michael Newton, Caroline Myss, and others. 
  • 27 Videos on different pages
  • Monthly newsletters (subscriber sign-up at bottom of each website page)

Instead of payment, he asks that you: (1) fully use and appreciate the products, (2) share them with others, and (3) help others in ways you feel called, that is, pay it forward.

The following are also available for a fee:

  • 8 printed books Radiant Wellness, Soul Proof, The Eleven Questions, Greater Reality Living, The Big Picture of Life, The Afterlife Evidence, Ask the Soul Doctor, and Shining Light Parents Speak
  • Coaching / Counseling Sessions with Dr. Pitstick by Zoom to gain answers to your biggest questions and holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.

Note: This article is intended as a reference source, not to replace professional treatment for physical, emotional, or mental problems.  The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the voluntary use of action steps discussed in article. 

I created this article while ‘wearing the hat’ of a clinician, counselor, and educator.  My statements are based upon some scientific research; much clinical and experiential evidence; my personal experiences; and my best current understandings.  This program does not reflect my roles with the SoulPhone Project since those require solid scientific data for all statements.