Have you ever wondered . . .
- Are the events that happen while you are on Earth planned?
- If so, who does the planning? God? Your angels and guides? Your soul?
- To what degreeare events planned? Are they completely “set-in-stone” or is just the possibility of certain outcomes designed?
- Do souls always succeed with their plans, or do they sometimes fail?
- Can pre-planning be changed and, if so, by whom?
- Why would souls chooseto suffer with illness, disability, physical death of loved ones, etc.?
- Is murder preplanned?
- Is suicide preplanned?
If you have thought about these questions, you have lots of company. I hear them almost daily from people around the world, especially those who are experiencing significant tragedy, pain, sadness, loneliness, and hopelessness.
It’s completely understandable that they ask these questions. Those who have endured tough changes and challenges struggle to discover if there really is purpose and meaning to life. Or is life just a series of random, chaotic, and unfair events?
Did my soul REALLY choose all this?
(NOTE: I will not use the terms ‘departed, deceased, or dead’ since those have such strongly entrenched – and, according to much contemporary evidence – erroneous meanings about the end of life. Instead, I will use more accurate terms: changed worlds, passed on, physical or bodily death / die, orcrossed over. Other more factual descriptors for what happens after physical death include: transitioned / moved to the next phase of forever, reentered the field of all possibilities, dropped the body, and graduated from earth-school.)
One couple wrote to me: “Our daughter was murdered and the man who did it was never caught.” A mother wrote: “My son was addicted to drugs for many years and eventually died by suicide.” These are very difficult and heart-breaking events.
I’ve wrestled with these questions for over forty-five years. Working in hospitals with many suffering and dying people, including children, can make you do that. In addition, I’ve worked with many people like the parents above. A person with an open heart on this planet can either find sensible answers, shut down emotionally, numb out with drugs and alcohol, or go crazy.
In this article, I will share my best current understandings. I don’t claim to have all the answers or the only answers. But I do have many good answers that have helped many people make more sense of life on Earth.
The questions about tragedies are suffering are most haunting when you view life from a duality perspective. Dualism is the belief that life is divided, that you truly are separate from others and Life Source. Einstein considered the belief that you are separate from the rest of creation to be an optical delusion. When you believe only what your five senses report, you are trapped in dualist beliefs. You suffer from illusions that further skew your perception of reality.
Even though your five senses are amazing, it’s a scientific fact that they detect much less than 1% of reality. It’s as though you’ve looked at life through a tiny pinhole and then wondered why it doesn’t make sense. The more you see beyond your five senses, the greater your degree of unity consciousness. You enjoy an increased awareness that all life is interconnected, ever expanding, and never-ending.
Life can be viewed as either: (1). meaningful and purposeful, or (2). chaotic and random
If it’s the former—and there’s good evidence for that perspective—then from where and whom does the meaning and purpose stem? Some find peace in the answer that those come from selfless service to others. Others feel that the “meaning and purpose department” is staffed by an all-knowing God. Still others prefer a model that our souls choose events that will result in optimal growth. Each of those answers may be like the blind men’s descriptions of the elephant. Perhaps they each are true, but only partially so.
Whenever discussing big questions about life, it’s important to realize that everyone is unique. There’s no “one size fits all” answer that will be accurate and satisfactory. Likewise, life before and after an earthly incarnation varies greatly – it’s not the same for everyone.
Here’s an example: what if someone asked you, “What is it like on planet Earth?” You have only experienced a very small fragment of the entirety of life here and that experience is greatly shaped by your beliefs, degree of awareness, and what you focus upon. The more than 7 billion humans have many different answers to the question “What is life on Earth like?”
The same issue exists with answers to questions about pre-birth planning and the greater reality. That’s why wise teachers use stories, metaphors, and parables to answer life’s biggest questions.
There’s an great story about a traveler who arrived at the outskirts of a city. An old man was sitting in the shade and the traveler said, “I’m looking for a new place to live. What’s it like here?” The old man paused and asked, “What it was like where you lived before?” The traveler said, “Oh it was awful. People were negative, selfish, and ignorant. I was so glad to leave there.” The old man frowned and replied, “It’s pretty much that way here too.” At that, the first traveler continued on to find a better place.
A few hours later, a second traveler approached the city and asked the same old man, “What’s it like here?” The old man answered, “What was it like where you lived before?” The new arrival beamed, “Oh, it was wonderful. The people were so nice and peaceful. They went out of their way to be friendly and follow the Golden Rule.” The old man smiled and replied, “It’s pretty much that way here too.”
This lesson is especially vital for the topic of pre-birth planning.
The maturity of the soul involved affects the degree to which pre-birth planning is wisely designed and carried out. Souls develop goals that they hope to reach during an upcoming earthly incarnation. The Light and higher energy assistants – angels, guides, master teachers soul mates – are always willing to assist in the planning. However, depending on the degree of soul evolution, that guidance may or may not be followed.
Let’s consider two extremes.
Beginner souls are just learning their way around the block, so to speak. They may not ask for, let alone follow, wise guidance. Once on Earth, they may completely ignore the little guidance they did absorb. They may totally go off plan and, as a result, their lives can become chaotic. Lives like this make it seem as though there is no soul planning.
Advanced souls, on the other hand, understand the importance of seeking wise counsel and following it to the best of their ability. They know about the Laws of Attraction and have worked to master application of those principles under the most difficult circumstances. As a result, they are quite adept at successful planning and fulfilling of their soul’s missions. Lives like their strongly reflect how soul planning can ideally work.
This explains why pre-birth planning, and following through on those ideals, does not optimally occur to the same degree for everyone. It’s not God’s will that one person is a saint and another a mass murderer. In what kind of bizarro world would that setup make sense?
The above discussion also helps explain common questions, for example, does a soul choose to commit murder? I’ll discuss this one more later, but my current understanding is that no soul would plan that. Likewise, evolved guidance—the epitome of love, peace, and joy—would never suggest or support such a plan.
However, immature and / or imbalanced souls may end up committing murderbecause of a number of factors going wrong. More mature souls may choose to be murdered – out of love – to assist beginner souls. Their “untimely” death by murder also allows them a timely return Home.
Many times, a soul does not fulfill its plans. One Mind knows those probabilities and factors in blessings nonetheless. Perfection exists in all aspects of Life. The question is whether we believe that and actively look for the silver linings.
Spiritually transformative experiences (STE’s) awaken you to a greater reality that help all life events—even the sad and difficult ones—make more sense. STEs can be triggered by: near-death experiences, after-death contacts, out-of-body experiences, birth or death of loved ones, mind-altering drugs, encountering a miracle, religious/ spiritual revelatory experiences, a close encounter with death or violence, and other ways. STE’s can also occur spontaneously without any identifiable cause, thereby supporting the notion that “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
Centering practices that can facilitate STE’s include: prayer, spiritual study and fellowship, meditation, deeply loving a person or pet, drumming and chanting, service to others, quiet time in nature, sacred lovemaking; crafts, and inspirational artwork, literature, or theater. These help quiet the mind and strengthen an inner knowing that there is much more to life than meets the eye.
The more you know that you are one with All That Is—now and forever—the less important the six questions at the beginning of this article become. You know that life is a never-ending, albeit periodically-changing, expression of light, love, and energy. The more you glimpse this bigger picture, you more you realize that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever.
Glimpsing that you—and everyone else—are indestructible, interconnected, and eternal beings of spirit / awareness removes or greatly decreases fear. A dualistic perspective creates needless melodrama. The more highly developed your unity consciousness, the more peace, joy, comfort, and hope you feel.
However, some people aren’t ready for a discussion that goes beyond dualism. And so, as I answer the questions above, I’ll use some dualistic language that implies you are separate from your loved ones, your spiritual support team, and Universal Intelligence. But you’re not.
The evidence behind my answers comes from:
- near-death experiencers, particularly those with deeper visits into the Light
- authentic mediums who accurately communicate details from guides, angels, and those who have passed on
- spiritual / religious teachings about a meaning and timing to all life events
- common reports from Life Between Lives experiences – long hypnotic sessions in which subjects recall life details before coming to Earth
- philosophical views about the best way Infinite Intelligence might design life
- everything I’ve learned and thought in over 40 years of researching topics about life, death, and afterlife
The following people have helped inform me about this subject through their books and / or personal communications: Michael Newton, Ph.D., Eben Alexander, M.D., Raymond Moody, M.D., Ph.D., Annie Kagan, Helen Greaves, Suzanne Giesemann, Gary Schwartz, Ph.D., Rob Schwartz, and Bill Guggenheim.
My answers to the questions . . .
- Are the events that happen while I am on Earth planned?
Yes, but not all of them. Only key events—from the soul’s perspective—appear to be pre-planned. Things that seem major to a human may be of no consequence from the soul’s perspective. Conversely, minor occurrences—at least from an earthly viewpoint— may be planned since they may be quite important for the soul. Once on Earth, people have free will and sometimes choose to create events that were not designed earlier in the pre-birth planning stage.
- If so, who does the planning? God? Your angels and guides? Your soul? Ideally, by all of the above after collaborating to plan an optimal earth-experience. More mature souls use the wisdom of their higher energy assistants / assistance (angels, guides, master teachers, soul mates, evolved energies, the Light) and design key life events accordingly.However, beginner souls– less advanced or aware parts of All That Is – may not recognize the importance of listening to others. Like impulsive or rebellious children, less mature beings may make impulsive or questionable decisions. That is their choice, of course, for we live in a free-will Universe. However, they also must bear responsibility for the results of their choices. That’s how they learn about the law of cause and effect and, thus, the wisdom of seeking wise counsel and right living.
To be clear, when I discuss the role of God / Source/ the Light in life design, I am not talking about a huge guy in the sky with long white hair and a beard. Further, a personified Deity does not unilaterally decide how and when all life events play out. This image of Infinite Intelligence is an unfortunate carry-over from the Dark Ages and even earlier. The short-comings of viewing Creator as a gigantic human become abundantly clear when one faces difficulties.
- To what degree are events planned? Are they completely determined, or is just the possibility of certain outcomes designed?
Most pre-planning by the soul consists of likelihoods. Events aren’t set up as completely predetermined, but exist more as potentialities. Here’s my best current understanding about how it works. Let’s say my soul wanted to grow in patience and compassion as the main goals for this earthly incarnation.
My soul may have set up a possibility of being severely injured. The long recovery and immobility phases could set the stage for developing the desired personality improvements. I’ve certainly had my chances of this occurring.
When I was twelve years old, I was almost hit by a train after walking across a long railroad trestle that stretched over a deep gorge. At age sixteen, I nearly fell while hiking down a rocky cliff. My friend did fall and was lucky to only rupture his spleen and be knocked unconscious. When I was twenty-three, I could very easily have died when my motorcycle went airborne after hitting a possum.
Although I’ve not sought clinical corroboration about it, the potential for becoming paralyzed may have been part of my soul’s pre-planning. Throughout my life, I’ve periodically felt that might happen. That seemed to be one of the toughest challenges, especially for a person used to being physically fit and active.
Maybe there were alternate pre-planned possibilities for achieving my soul’s goals that didn’t involve severe physical injury.
When my Pony League baseball team lost, I got enraged. I remember my grandpa telling me that I can’t always win—I can only do my best. That made sense; listening to his advice was a key to me learning patience.
During my youth, my parents made me shovel snow and mow yards for free for several old people in our neighborhood. At the time, it seemed unfair but – from a longer-term perspective– I can see that it helped me develop more patience and compassion. I’ve helped tens of thousands of people during the last forty-six years, thereby cultivating more of those priceless attributes that have become part of who and how I am.
A minority of life events are established by souls as absolutes rather than possibilities. For example, consider the outcome if a soul chose to be born into a body deformed by Thalidomide, Paxil, or another drug with serious potential side-effects. That soulchose an occurrence that was a certainty, that is, an irreversible physical abnormality.
- Do souls always succeed with their plans, or do they sometimes fail?
The level of a soul’s advancement determines whether and to what degree its purposes are reached. Beginner souls are less adept at realizing and demonstrating how much they co-create their lives. Advanced souls have more experience in this regard. By the way, there is no hierarchy to or vanity in being a more evolved soul. Every part of creation and every stage of development is recognized as important.
A younger soul does not always follow the ideal plans. Reasons for this can include:
- interference due to poor home situations
- lack of body / brain balance due to environmental factors
- impulsive choice of host body during the pre-planning stages
- a stubborn or resistive streak that needs improving
This helps explain how murder, abuse, and other inappropriate actions can co-exist in a fair and loving universe. Source or “the Devil” don’t cause it to happen.
Souls often fail at fulfilling their ideal plans, but they know that—just as a baby learns to walk after falling down a million times—that their “failure” can eventually result in learning. They also know that we have eternity to get it right and Creator is infinitely patient and nonjudgmental.
As such, there’s no fear or pressure when – despite their best intentions – they take the low road instead of the high road. Souls know very well that all paths lead to Love because that is—whether we remember it or not—our true nature and all that exists.
- Can pre-birth planning be changed and, if so, by whom?
Indications are that soul planning can be changed, and the soul always has a role in that decision. Higher energy assistants may strongly suggest an alteration of plans, but the soul retains free will to listen or not. Extensive preparation occurs before a soul enters into a physical body: potential scenarios of events are examined, future family members are visited, and even the locale of birth is evaluated.Nevertheless, change can occur: a soul’s emphases might shift, goals may be reached sooner than expected, or supporting cast members may not fulfill their parts. Any of these can necessitate a change in the script. It’s very much like a movie or theatrical play. To extend that analogy, you are the writer, producer, director, and star of your life’s story. You determine whether your life is most like a tragedy, quirky comedy, repetitive melodrama, or exciting and successful adventure.
It often happens that the personality gets off track and, with the soul’s consent, original plans need to be modified. Pre-birth plans are frequently amended in the dream state. As you sleep, your essence can leave the body and meet with soul-mates, angels, and guides. You and your team might discuss how things are going and evaluate if changes should be made. This may be one reason why you might sleep more than usual during times of stress or change.
Another reason for changing the original plans might be to take an alternate route. You could take the interstate and get there more quickly. Or you can journey along the back roads to enjoy the scenery and avoid traffic. The soul knows that, as the popular children’s song teaches, life is but a dream. It’s not obsessed about reaching the finish line as quickly as possible since life is never-ending and new goals continue to surface.
- Why would souls choose to experience illness, disability, broken relationships, financial loss, and other forms of suffering?
It’s a very important question, isn’t it?From a self-centered human perspective, only a lunatic would choose suffering. There are a few sides to this one, so stay with me . . .
During 46 years of working with others, I’ve been privileged to meet incredibly impressive people who faced tremendous adversity: Geraldine was raped by her uncle at age 14, then thrown out by her family when she became pregnant; Rob was paralyzed from the waist down after a motorcycle accident; Michael lost his vision at a young age; Elizabeth’s son died tragically. Christopher Reeve is another inspiring example.
Each of them was able to work through anger, bitterness, sadness, self-pity, and hopelessness. Over time, they upgraded those emotions into higher energy ones: peace, acceptance, gratitude, and even enthusiasm and joy. They each contributed to our world and helped others.
I’ve seen it so many times that I know it’s possible. Most of them said they wouldn’t go back and change things even if they could. They recognized the benefits that directly resulted from their challenges and valued those more than their personal comfort. How does one reach this point of understanding?
First, realize that time is a human construct. From an earthly perspective, time seems to move very slowly, for example, when you are in severe pain or missing a loved one whose body died. However, the collective evidence shows that this earthly life – even if it’s one hundred difficult years – is but a blink of an eye in the span of eternity. So, you tell me: is it worth a relatively few moments of challenges to learn and serve others? Souls think so.
Next, remember that not all suffering is pre-planned on a soul level. You can’t know what is and what isn’t without the benefit of an evidential medium, hypnosis session, or other way to evaluate. It’s difficult to estimate since a soul’s perspective is so different from that of humans. But it’s clear that difficulties, whether pre-planned or not, can result in a great good for you and others.
A patient I worked with drank himself stupid before driving his motorcycle at high speeds. A leg will lose a fight with a guard rail every time; he spent the rest of his earthly experience with only one leg. Whether his soul chose that or not, he certainly stacked the deck in favor of a physical injury. If he did pre-plan it as a likelihood, possible reasons might be that he:
- Was an alcoholic in other times / places. This time around in earth-school gave him a chance to take better care of his physical body. If that was the goal, he didn’t get good grades.
- Hurt others in the past so he chose to be injured in this one. That will help him realize the importance of the Golden Rule.
- Is an advanced soul who chose that scenario to powerfully warn others what happens when you drink and drive. It also allowed me to tell this story.
It’s said that when asked why there is so much suffering, the Buddha answered: To grow and serve others. Post that where you’ll read it several times a day because it really says it all. Over time, various cultures have taught that suffering is grace and we shouldn’t question God’s will.
Native Americans had mystery bagsin which they symbolically stored what puzzled them at the time. At a later date, they reexamined the event to see if it made more sense. Other cultures have recognized the X-factorand value of the unknowable in life. These viewpoints recognize that human perspectives can fail to capture the meaning and timing of life events.
Suffering can have many layers of meaning. Thirty-five year-old Mary, a wife and mother of three young children, developed breast cancer. After receiving the best that medical / disease care has to offer – surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy – she died. From a limited human perspective, that certainly seemed to bea horrible occurrence. From a greater reality viewpoint, however, her illness and death may have been pre-planned by her soul so that:
- her husband and children might be more motivated to search for meaning and remember who they are
- caregivers could develop their skills by working with her
- estranged family members would reunite
- more people can learn the importance of healthy, chemical-free food, water, cleaning, and body care products that don’t pollute them and our planet
- others might realize the wisdom of using preventive and natural healing methods instead of relying on dangerous approaches after a crisis occurs
- her soul could take an early exit and turn the page in life’s eternal book
Children with drug and/or alcohol addictions take a horrible toll on many families. Divorce, bankruptcy, and stress-related illness commonly affect the parents. And, after all that, the child may still die. It’s an all-too-common event. Possible reasons why the souls involved—the child and family members—might have chosen to endure such difficulties include:
- challenges can build spiritual muscles
- the parents may have been drug addicts who ruined the lives of others in another time/place, thus their choice to experience the other side of the coin
- enlightening health care professionals and the general public about how to address core causes of addiction
- addicted children may be teachers for others in the family
- the adversity can result in greater growth and service to others
- parents can learn to set limits, monitor children, and take actions that are unpopular but important
- the parents’ relationship can grow stronger while going through all this
- Is murder part of pre-birth planning?
My definition for the word murder is the truly unlawful and immoral killing of another person.
(Note: as history clearly shows, what constitutes lawful and moral at the time can be very wrong when viewed later or from other perspectives. Consider, for example, the systematic killing of Native Americans by government troops in the 1800’s. Manifest Destiny– removing those ‘godless savages’ – was considered lawful and morally right at the time. Now it seen as shamefully wrong by those who think for themselves. ‘Killing gooks for God’ and stopping the domino effect of Communism was likewise seen as lawful and right during the Viet Nam war. The awful ripples of those atrocities continue to cause death and suffering for those on both sides.)
What constitutes murder is not widely agreed upon. How about capital punishment of a person who is later proven to be innocent? What about abortion when rape or serious risk of death to the mother is involved? How about killing someone while in a disease, alcohol, or drug-induced state of mental imbalance? What about killing someone in war because your country orders it, but your conscience knows it’s wrong?
You can see how complex this question can be, but I’ll proceed.
My overall sense is that murder is not something that is purposely chosen in spiritual realms where love, peace, and joy predominate. Beings in nonphysical realms are very aware that love is our essential nature and all that really exists. The goal of enlightened souls is always to grow in and show love. As such, it doesn’t make sense that souls would preplan to murder someone.
However, an earthly incarnation may be planned with the knowledge that, for various reasons, a person may have a tendency to murder. A possibility for murder might be present, but the earthly experience is undertaken because of the potential for growth and service.
People can and often do make poor choices especially when confronted with excess stress, brain chemistry imbalance, abuse, poor upbringing, drugs, alcohol, emotional instability, etc. Those factors account for most murders.
Beginner souls may make an impulsive choice of body / brain and not heed wise counsel of their guides and the Light. People may suffer abuse from others and other factors that was more difficult than anticipated. These events could result in a twisting of the psyche and horrible choices such as murder.
I can think of three reasons why, in a loving and fair universe, an incarnation would be allowed to proceed despite a chance that a person would commit murder:
- It’s a free will universe so choice is allowed.
- It provides a powerful contrast and teaching. As an extreme example, Hitler’s contributions to mass murders – horrible as those were – awakened many people and made them resolve never again.
- That method of physical death is a way for souls to move back into the field of all possibilities sooner than if their body died of old age.
If I can think of three reasons, there are likely many more. Could it be that Source Energy / Universe loves so much that the possibility of murder is part of the grand design because of the potential for greater good?
My mind reels at such a possibility that usually registers “does not compute.” My human heart can’t imagine it. And yet, if there is indeed meaning and reason behind all events, the question is worth considering.
Souls – who know they are forever beings – may conceivably sign up to possibly be murdered for several reasons:
- They murdered someone in another time and place. Being murdered in this one can help them realize that murder is not an acceptable action.
- John murdered someone in the past. Mary – a beloved soulmate of John – volunteered to possibly be murdered to help him learn firsthand why murder is not appropriate.
Reasons (a) and (b) are considered to be karmic, that is, they are chosen to learn from past lower energy actions.
- Advanced or intermediate souls may choose to be killed to help imbalanced or beginner souls learn by trial and error.
- The murder may have been designed to help health care professionals better address the core issues of mental health ailments.
- As mentioned, being murdered provides a timely ticket back Home when a soul doesn’t need to go through a long time on Earth.
Again, if I can generate this many reasons why souls may volunteer to be murdered, consider how many there may be.
While working part-time in hospitals forty years ago, some patients touched me more than others. Stevie was one such patient. A cute two-year-old boy with big brown eyes and a sad smile, he was a frequent visitor to the pediatric ward. First a broken leg, then a broken arm, then fractured ribs. His mother and her boyfriend shrugged and claimed he was just a very active toddler. I felt sorry for the little guy and visited when I could to try to cheer him up.
Then, one afternoon, I was the respiratory therapist assigned to the ER and was paged for a Code 4—a life-threatening emergency. I ran down there and was told the squad was bringing in a little boy who was in severe condition. I met the ambulance team as they brought him into the treatment room. I took the boy from them and put him on the exam table. I felt a slight tugging as I removed my hands from his bare back and, in horror, saw that my hands were covered with dead skin from his body.
It was Stevie.
The doctors couldn’t find a pulse or a good vein for an IV. His respirations were very shallow and he was severely dehydrated. There was nothing we could do and he died shortly after arriving to the ER. Soon, the back-story filtered in to the staff. The mother wasn’t home and her boyfriend gave him a bath. The water was so hot that the little boy cooked to death. The police charged him with negligent homicide.
His murder was a huge factor that motivated me to search far and wide for sensible answers to life’s toughest questions. I’ve helped tens of thousands of people over the years and I’m just getting started.
From a limited earthly perspective, his physical death was certainly a horrible tragedy. But from a more far-sighted viewpoint, his short life was a grand-slam home run. The same could be true for others who are murdered. This realization doesn’t condone mistreating anyone in any way. However, it does shine some light on understanding life’s biggest challenges from a greater reality perspective.
One last comment about murder is that, in the most absolute understanding of reality, no one can really be killed. Yes, the physical body may be destroyed, but that is an infinitesimal part of who and what a human being is. Again, this view does not make the action acceptable, but can help us find meaning and timing in such a tragedy.
This perspective was described by Ralph Waldo Emerson in his 19thcentury poem Brahma: “If the red slayer think he slays, or if the slain think he is slain, they know not well the subtle ways I keep, and pass, and turn again.”
Emerson’s words are heavily influenced by the nineteenth verse of the second chapter of the Hindu Bhagavad-Gitawritten over two thousand years ago: “He who takes the Self to be slayer and he who thinks He is slain, neither of these knows. He slays not, nor is he slain.”
Even something as horrible as murder can result in a greater good. Universe / Life is so wisely and lovingly set up that there are endless safety nets and opportunities to convert “sad and difficult” into good. I hope this discussion helps those with a loved one who murdered or were murdered.
- Is suicide preplanned?
As with murder, the reasons for and wisdom behind suicides can vary greatly.
A ninety-year-old woman was losing her mind while her body was failing horribly. Her husband had passed on many years before and she didn’t want to burden her children who were busy with their jobs and family. She also didn’t want to spend their inheritance on health care that would only delay the inevitable and result in a few additional months or years of low quality life. This thoughtful and wise woman wanted to leave the planet on her terms and not suffer with extended degeneration. She started her car in a closed garage and died from carbon monoxide poisoning.
A twenty-year old was going through the heartbreak of his first love breakup. He was devastated and felt like his world would end. In an attempt to numb the pain, he drank and took illegal drugs. Soon, without reaching out for help or even talking with others, he drove his car at a high rate of speed into a big tree.
These two real life stories represent a continuum of reasons for suicide.
Suicide among young people is alarmingly common these days. When I speak to groups of bereaved / shining light parents, about 20% of their children died this way. (The term shining light paren tdescribes the potential for bereaved parents to realize their children really are shining lights now. This upgraded perspective can assist moving beyond severe grief more quickly and easily.)
One mother told me about her happy and well-balanced son who was prescribed a generic form of the drug Accutane for his acne. He shot himself in the head just a few months later. That’s why the makers of Accutanefirst issued a black-box warning for possible increased suicidal behavior and then pulled the drug off the market.
Did the souls of this young man and his family volunteer to possibly go through challenges that could potentially bless others? Or was God asleep at the wheel for yet another tragedy? Only you can decide for yourself, but the evidence indicates it’s the former.
My current understanding is that souls do not plan to definitely die by suicide. However, they may pre-plan the possibility of suicide to:
- allow very old people to die with more dignity versus slowly vegetating
- help souls who died by suicide in another time / place to experience the devastation caused when loved ones die that way
- keep the infirm person from draining resources of family, tribe, or country
- create an exit point to move into the next phase of life
- help warn others about factors that may negatively impact the body and brain: potentially harmful prescription drugs, vaccinations, excess heavy metals and chemicals, chronic stress, and agri-business produced foods. In my opinion, these are some of the causative factors in the high suicide rate among young people.
- bring attention to the paradox that we mercifully euthanize our pets, but humans must suffer horribly and slowly decay away. Bioethics haven’t caught up with technological advances that can keep people alive way beyondany semblance of quality living.
Recently, I shared my When a Child Changes Worlds: How To Survive and Even Thrivewebinar with a wonderful group of shining light parents. There were many questions about suicide, particularly regarding whether souls might choose that mode of dropping the body. One mother shared that her five-year-old son told her several times, “I’m going to die when I’m thirty.” He was diagnosed with schizophrenia in his twenties and, after suffering mightily for years, died by suicide at age 30.
Was there some pre-planning for at least for the possibility of suicide? For example, that soul may have chosen a body that was predisposed to schizophrenia for good reasons. There may have been the hope that cures would be available by the time the disease became severe. He might have desired to help find safe and effective solutions to this mental disorder.
The possibility of suicide might have been known or planned as a back-up if the cures weren’t in place and the suffering was too intense. His childhood remarks to his mother may have been a way to soften the blow of his subsequent illness and suicide.
That night after the webinar, it seemed that I was being taught more about this topic. Or maybe my conscious or subconscious mind was ruminating and learning. When I awakened, I wrote the following . . .
We can’t fathom the degree of love, wisdom, and caring inherent in every aspect of the cosmos.
Perhaps those words will help when you are trying to understand life’s most difficult quandaries.
Suicide creates such devastation to surviving loved ones that my mind reels at the thought of it being preplanned. However, when it comes to grasping ultimate truths, I’m like a kindergartener trying to understand the advanced mathematics behind high-energy quantum physics.
Recently, I observed distant nebulae and galaxies through a large telescope at the Kitts Peak National Observatory in Arizona. That wonderful experience reminded me of how vast the universe is. Seeing through 230X magnification also made a case for being cautious when making definitive statements about the nature of reality.
Regarding the question, “Do souls ever preplan the possibility of dying by suicide and, if so, why?” The honest answer is that I don’t know. Similarly, a wide array of opinions exists among my friends and colleagues in the consciousness arena. I can, however, imagine that the following reasons why the possibility of suicide might be considered:
- The soul desired to develop more love and compassion and volunteered to experience immense despair. That soul wanted to grow and evolve so much that she was willing to skate on the thin ice of feeling hopeless. The souls of her family and friends were likewise willing to risk having their human hearts broken to support their soulmate’s plan. One possible outcome is that the soul would achieve her goals and remain balanced. When experiencing severe torment over time, however, suicide is a very real possibility or likely conclusion.Before coming to earth, the soul – from her greater perspective vantage point – knew the following very well:
- her earth-experience would last only a blink of an eye compared to the span of eternity
- as a forever being, she is one with One and part of Source Energy right now and always
- she can see her dear soulmates again here and in the hereafter.
As such, the possibility of suicide was considered worth it for the potential growth in love, growth, service, and compassion.
- A person might benefit by having a dear ones body die by suicideso a soulmate, out of love, agreed to possibly help her in that way. Imagine that a soul I’ll call Ruth chose suicide on numerous occasions in “past lives” when persistence and patience were the goals. As a result, others experienced immense pain and Ruth’s soul growth was thwarted.So one of her soul group chose to possibly die by suicide. That allowed Ruth the option – if it were needed – of experiencing the pain of “losing” a dear one by suicide. That firsthand experience may help her soul persevere versus bailing out.
- Suicide may have been a timely way to return back Home. When it’s time to go back to The Really Real Place, there are only five possibilities: old age or natural causes, a fatal accident, a terminal disease, murder, or suicide. The soul who died by suicide to help Ruth may have doubly benefited because a long earthly visit wasn’t really needed. He may have covered bases (a.) and (d.) at the same time. So what appeared to be a horrible and senseless tragedy may have been a quadruple win.
- Physical death by suicide may have been an attempt to help others and the world.So many young people are dying by suicide these days. Could it be that their souls were willing to go through hell on earth to wake up others?In my clinical experience, the following factors can be involved: excess vaccinations; prescription drugs with potential side-effects of increased suicidal ideation and behavior; nutritional deficiencies; fake food containing additives and chemicals; artificial sweeteners with neuro-excitatory effects; multiple electronic devices causing harmful electro-magnetic fields; lack of meaning and purpose; schizoid and archaic religious teachings.These factors can result in feelings of depression, anxiety, alienation, impulsivity, etc. and stack the deck for bodily death by suicide. That’s why holistic solutions are needed to address these core causes of suicide, mental imbalance, addiction, and other all-too-common problems that affect everyone involved.For more information about prevention and treatment, read my Radiant Wellness. Use skilled natural care practitioners for specific chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture, deep massage, and integrative medicine. I especially recommend personalized nutritional healing (infoor icakusa.com)
- Physical death by suicide provides a relief valve. Because love is the basis of life, it makes sense that potential “escape routes” would be designed for difficult experiences like an earthly incarnation. Suicide is a way for a soul to say, “I can’t take this anymore. It’s too difficult and painful.” Those very words are commonly stated in suicide notes.I have to respect that and avoid any judgment. One woman who eventually chose suicide said it felt as though her skin was simultaneously penetrated by hundreds of ice picks. That went on for years. Who can say when enough is enough? The decision to end ones earth-experience is a personal one and, ultimately, can only be made by the person involved.In the best of all worlds, each person’s unique needs and imbalances would be addressed using safe, affordable, natural, and effective approaches. But, all too often, I hear about the opposite:
- Ministers tell suffering people that they must believe a certain way or do certain things or else they will suffer in hell for eternity.
- Medical doctors give potentially harmful and ineffective drugs – or bizarre treatments such as electro-convulsive shock therapy – to people who come to them for help with depression and other mental symptoms.
- Sufficient funds exist to wage needless wars and create exorbitant profits for businesses, but not to provide food, shelter, or optimal health care.
- Ridicule, bullying, and judgement toward those with different skin color, sexual orientation, personal or religious beliefs, etc.
- Unknown factors. Might souls sometimes choose suicide for good reasons that we can’t understand from our limited human perspectives? I strongly suspect that is the case.
Evaluating whether suicide is a lower or higher-energy path isn’t useful for survivors because it can perpetuate feelings of guilt, shame, or continually analyzing the ‘why’ questions. However, considering when suicide might be more or less appropriate may help us better understand and address the underlying causes. It may also evolve our bioethics about important end-of-this-life issues including euthanasia and assisted suicide
As an example of what might be considered a lower energy path, imagine a soul who chose suicide several earthly incarnations in a row. This soul had a tendency to give up too soon and push the reset button. His predominant feelings at the time of suicide likely included fear, hopelessness, anger, loneliness, and other lower energy emotions. This time around, the soul’s intention was to work through difficulties and persevere. By definition, suicide was not in the highest alignment with that soul’s pre-birth goals.
An example of a higher energy path might be the ninety-year-old woman who decided to die by suicide. There was no hope for prolonging her life in a quality way. Her overarching emotions may have been love, compassion, and a desire for wholeness. All things considered, suicide may have been the optimal route for her.
Evaluating whether cases are more or less appropriate – all things considered – is not a simple matter. For example, the thirty-year-old son with schizophrenia who ended this earth-experience may not have used alternative healing approaches. Doing so may have relieved his suffering and allowed his brain to regain normal functioning. Clearly, he couldn’t take the status quo any longer. But did he seek all sources of assistance before concluding that suicide was the best path forward?
Could it be that his soul wasn’t meant to live a long earthly life? Or maybe he didn’t just couldn’t cope with the anguish and stress that accompanied his body / brain imbalance. Is it possible that his method of physical death will motivate health care professionals to better address core causes of mental symptoms and, as a result, help many more people? Might it be that all of the above factors were operative?
Only the person involved knows what is in their heart and mind. That’s why I can’t judge. Good collective evidence indicates that is also the case for angels, guides, and the Light.
I thank and honor the bereaved / shining light parents whose deep suffering and heartache motivated me to wrestle with these topics more deeply than ever before. May the physical death of their children’s reveal other silver linings that heal and bless others.
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I’ve created several audio-products that incorporate deep relaxation / hypnosis and visualization. They may help you better understand this topic so you can heal, accept, and transform when life events seem senseless:
- Pre-Birth Planning:See past challenges in a new light. Learn why your soul may have chosen difficulty to improve your life here and now.
- Ask Your Soul:Access your inner wisdom to answer the most commonly asked questions about life, death, and afterlife.
- Holistic Breathing: Deep, noisy, diaphragmatic breathing with music and coaching to release old wounds / stuck energy, and remember who you are.
- Facilitated After-Death Contact: Visit with your beloved people and pets who have transitioned from this earth-experience. Designed to expand your awareness that they are very near and want you to be happy. Learn how to enjoy a continued, although different, kind of relationship with them now.
Words often fall short when considering such big questions. That’s why the best way for you to learn more may be using these techniques.
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Thank you for sharing this article with others who can use it. I hope that this article – and taking the action steps discussed – help you feel more happy, healthy, peaceful, clear, and energetic. You deserve to feel that way and the world needs your greatest gifts.
Life and love are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is director of The Soul Phone Foundation, co–founder of Greater Reality Living Groups,and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show– no matter what is going on around you – that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit About Dr. Mark Pitstickfor his full bio.
Note: Because of his many outreaches, Dr. Pitstick can no longer answer complex and multiple questions from individuals. However, he has created many resources to answer your biggest questions and provide holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.
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Disclaimer:This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. My remarks are based on over forty-five years of study, training, personal experience, and professional service. Extensive clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence supports much, but not all, of what I say. My current best understandings may change over time. I do not claim to have all the answers or the only answers. My hope is that this information assists you to consider what makes the most sense to you.