I am very sorry for all the pain, sadness, and other difficult emotions that you naturally feel when the physical body of your beloved loved one is murdered.
(Note: accurate language is so important for deeply knowing that life continues after physical death. That is why I use the phrase ‘the body of your loved one died.’ It’s much more cumbersome than ‘he died’, but vital for remembering that only the outer shell perishes. The other 99% – their personality, memory, uniqueness, etc. – of who and what they are continues.)
No one could blame you if you spent the rest of your days stuck in anger, bitterness, severe grief, desire for revenge, and other lower energy emotions. However, some people whose loved ones were murdered have taken another path. They found ways to consciously choosehigher energy emotions while, at the same time, feeling pain and sadness.
Yes, in the beginning, it feels horriblewhen you can’t see the physical shell of dear ones. That can especially be true when they are murdered. However, the good news is that everything else about them – all the energy, light, love, personality, humor, memory, energetic and subtle bodies, and more – is still very much alive and well.
You haven’t really “lost” your loved ones: they just graduated from earth school because their lessons and goals were completed. You will see them again.
You deserve to feel happy and healthy again and the world needs your brightest light. Your loved ones are in a realm predominated by peace, joy, gratitude, love, and enthusiasm. They want you to remember life’s big picture and feel those higher energy emotions more and more each day.
When deeply understood and acted upon, the following keys can lighten your grieving and help you survive one day at a time. Over time, these steps can reveal ways to find and share the blessings that always accompany tragedies.
1. Focus on the good news. Readarticles#1 and 2 on the SoulProof.comhomepage. In a nutshell, no matter how the body of your loved one died:
- Their essence is very much alive and well right now.Death is not an end, just a transition to the next phase of forever.
- You will definitely see each other again and don’t have to wait until you die to enjoy a heavenly reunion.See #8 below.
- They likely were evolved souls who didn’t need a long earthly experience.
- It wasn’t God’s decision that your loved one was murdered.And you weren’t being punished by God for something you did or didn’t do. See #5 below.
- Your loved ones passing by murder will touch and bless people more deeply than if, for example, she died from a vaccination reaction.
- You need to take care of yourself and have a holistic health care team.The death of a loved one by murder is a horrible shock to the body, especially the brain and endocrine system. It’s vital to reset, strengthen, and balance yourself.
2.Your loved one didn’t suffer as much as you might think. Good evidence indicates that the consciousness of a person may disengage from the body just before a fatal injury. Medically, this is considered physiological shock. I’ve interviewed a number of people who were shot, stabbed, or fell from great heights. All of them said it initially just felt like a punch and that was it. The essence / soul knows when an injury will be fatal. There are no good reasons to stick around and experience the entire impact.
When death occurred, your loved ones awareness was very likely watching impassively from above. They were probably much more concerned about you than the demise of the physical shell. Why? They were more clearly seeing that no one reallydies. From his new perspective, they could see that their physical bodies were just temporary vehicles that were no longer needed.
I hope this information helps you from tormenting yourself that your loved ones suffered horribly. Even if they were speaking or screaming at the time of death, their real selves were already flying away and not feeling what you might assume.
3. Murder is a ticket back Home.
There are only four ways that a person’s essence can move on to the next page in Life’s never-ending saga: illness, accident, suicide, and murder. From a limited earthly perspective, all of these are horrible – especially when they occur with a young person. But from a greater reality viewpoint, the method of deathis really very inconsequential. How else can an eternal being inhabiting a young body move on into the next phase of forever except by what appears to be a senseless tragedy?
Although you may not understand it now, there is meaning behind the timing and way your loved one died. For example, I didn’t write this article until I received a letter from a mother whose son was stabbed in the heart. Many people will be comforted and informed by this article. So her son got a return trip back Home and, at the same time, made a hugely positive impact. Not a bad deal when you remember that death is an optical delusion.
4. No one is alone at the time of death.
Sometimes loved ones appearto be alone at the time of passing and that, of course, can haunt parents and family members. However, good evidence shows that their higher energy assistants– angels, guides, soulmates, and the Light – are right there at every moment. No one is ever alone. After the physical body died, your loved ones were lovingly accompanied at every step into the afterlife. They enjoyed a wonderful reunion and were greeted by dear family, friends, and pets who passed on earlier.
After that, a healing showerwashes away any ‘dirty laundry’ carried over from the recent earth-school experience. The essences of people are recharged and revitalized. They receive counseling and coaching before reintegrating into the next phase of forever.
Upon learning all this, the question understandably arises: “Why didn’t the angels, guides, and other higher energy assistants prevent the murder of my loved one?” We can’t know all of the factors involved, but the most common reasons include:
a. They often do intervene when doing so is in alignment with the person’s plan.
- Although loved ones may be young in earth-years, they may be advanced souls. Evolved beings sometimes volunteerout of loveto help beginner souls. Less evolved souls can be like children learning how to walk. They fall down many times – as we all have – before learning to follow the Golden Rule.c. It was time for the loved ones soul to move onto the next phase of forever.d. We live in a free will universe. If angels prevented every “sad and difficult” event, that would negate reasons for taking on a physical form.e. The horror of a loved ones murder can motivate family and friends to learn, grow, and serve more deeply. For example, the abusive death of a three-year-old boy when I worked in hospitals was largely responsible for the service I’ve provided to many thousands of people in the forty-five years since.
5.God isn’t punishing you for something you did or didn’t do. Some people
suffer needlessly because they still believe archaic and inaccurate religious teachings. Contrary to images that surfaced during the Dark Ages, God is not a huge guy in the sky who unilaterally decides who dies when and how. More contemporary evidence indicates that Source is not separate from us. We each are important and beloved parts of this phenomenon. Decisions about the timing and manner of crossing over are ideally made by the person involved in conjunction with wise guidance from higher energy assistance and One Mind.
On the similar topic, I hope that you are not punishing yourself for what you could or should have done to prevent his murder. It’s natural for parents to blame themselves for not protecting their loved one. Living in guilt and self-blame can’t change the past, but it can make your life feel like hell until you accept what happened and forgive yourself.
6.Inhale the good, exhale the bad.
When you are ready, start releasing grief, hopelessness, and sadness with the Holistic Breathing Technique. This powerful method helps you retrieve stuck energy, heal deep wounds, and better remember the big picture of life. It’s one of the most effective ways I know to recall who you and your loved one really are. And that, in turn, helps you gain a better perspective about your plight.
Forgive the murderer.
Yes, I know, it’s easier said than done.I’ve gotten a few angry replies from people for even suggesting it is possible. I’ve received numerous letters from parents who are consumed with hatred and bitterness. Others are obsessed with finding the murder or extending the prison sentence. I can understand their feelings and might have the same reaction if it happened to one of my loved ones. No judgment here.However, I know other people who have forgiven and they felt much better afterwards. Forgiving primarily benefits the person who was hurt.
Forgiving does not imply condoning the murder, or not wanting justice. It does mean having compassion for an obviously imbalanced person. Most importantly, it allows you to release some of the anger, excessive focus on revenge, and other lower energy emotions. Carrying that around for a lifetime hurts you, not the murderer.
There’s a fine line here so examining your emotions may be the best litmus test. It’s certainly normal to desire justice and protecting others from the murderer. But you don’t want the murder to define who you are during rest of this earthly visit.
Your loved ones certainly would not want that either. From their greater reality perspective, they can see a broader view of life, understand why things unfolded as they did, benefit from the blessings, and want you to do the same.
In addition, any lower-energy emotions you feel may interfere with you connecting with your loved ones now. Their energy is characterized by love, joy, peace, appreciation, and enthusiasm. If yours are overly focus on the opposite of those, you won’t be able to be on the same wavelength and feel their real presence now.
One tool to assist in this regard is the Heal & Transform Your Sufferingtechnique that I created. Deep relaxation and visualization can help you better understand the situation from a higher perspective. You may remember why you, while planning this earthly visit, possibly agreed to participate in this scenario. You understood that your heart would likely feel broken and your mind numb. However, you also knew there would be huge opportunities for growth and service. You remembered the following:
a. no one really dies since we each are forever beingsof spirit / energy / awareness
b. you cannot be separate from dear loved ones even though it appears that way after physical death
c. your time on earth is but a blink of an eye in the span of eternity; as such, very temporary suffering is well worth the possible growth and blessings
d. big challenges can serve as a wake-up call, a spiritually-transformative experience that help you remember who you are and why you are here.
8.You don’t have to wait until your body dies to visit with ‘departed’ loved ones.
Many people want to have ‘just one more contact’ with loved ones who graduated from earth school. You can have an infinite number of opportunities to visit with him, both here and in the hereafter, since love is eternal. Two ways to increase the chances of feeling his presence right noware:
- Read and take action steps described in Foundational Article#9 Visiting with ‘Departed’ Loved Ones Now.
- Use the Facilitated After-Death Contactsession that has helped many people sense the very real presence of their loved ones who have crossed over.In addition, exciting technology is being designed at the University of Arizona that very likely will allow you to communicate with your ‘deceased’ loved ones in the future. This may sound impossible, but so did cell phones, computers, and other devices that we now take for granted. To learn more about this revolutionary approach, visit SoulPhoneorg
- Your loved one wants you to be happy now.
After a loved one is murdered, some people consider suicide so they can be with them again. This is a common feeling that usually indicates how much a person wants to stop the pain and suffering. Don’t think you are going crazy if you have an occasional suicidal thought. But do take it seriously and share your feelings with trusted loved ones, counselor, minister, and / or health care team.
Your loved ones soul is very near and wants you to enjoy life again. She can feel your emotions and is urging you to awaken to the great news that life and love are eternal. Now that you know there’s a rhyme and reason behind all life’s events, perhaps you can experience more peace and acceptance. Enjoy your life fully on Earth while you can. That will honor your loved ones life and assist a continued, although different, relationship with her now.
- Benefit from loving support and wise information. This is the time to ask for help and lean on others. After you’ve regained your center, you can pay it forward and help others. Consider joining a love-based, openminded church or organization that offers spiritual wisdom, loving fellowship, and ways to serve others. Unity, Unitarian-Universalist, and Centers for Spiritual Living are among my favorites.If the person whose human shell was murdered was a child of any age, Helping Parents Healprovides support, networking, and strategies for parents and family members to heal and transform. There are many local chapters plus online meetings. I highly recommend joining a group and actively participating.
Greater Reality Living groups– online and locally around the world – are another source of afterlife evidence, support, and kindred spirits.
My website SoulProof.comhas free resources to help you survive and even thrive through life’s toughest challenges:
- Foundational Articles for Healing and Transformation
- Radio Shows(top tab) featuring interviews with Drs. Gary Schwartz, Wayne Dyer, Raymond Moody, and other top experts in spirituality and healing. We discuss the very questions that you have no doubt been trying to wrap your mind around: “What happens after we die? Is there really a God? If so, why is there so much suffering? and more.” You know the list.
Over time, following the steps above helps most people realize their loved ones are very much alive, well, and near. You can come to understand that – no matter how they passed on– they are happy, peaceful, and living in magnificent realms. The highest level reaction when the body of a loved one is killed is to focus on those same high energy emotions, moment by moment.
Doing this won’t totally remove all your grief and pain overnight, but it can lighten it over time. In addition, you now have an opportunity to transmute your severe suffering into personal growth and loving service to others. And those are the biggest reasons souls volunteer to go through such pain: to grow, serve, remember their true nature, and expand love and peace in our world.
The more you can do that, the more you will experience a heavenly state now and always – no matter what is going on around you. It’s not easy, but it is possible.
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Thank you for sharing this article with others who can use it. I hope that this article – and taking the action steps discussed – help you feel more happy, healthy, peaceful, clear, and energetic. You deserve to feel that way and the world needs your greatest gifts.
Life and love are forever. Shall we live accordingly?
Mark Pitstick, MA, DC is an author, master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, frequent media guest, and workshop facilitator. He is director of The Soul Phone Foundation, co–founder of Greater Reality Living Groups,and board member of Helping Parents Heal. Dr. Pitstick can help you know and show– no matter what is going on around you – that your earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst forever. Visit About Dr. Mark Pitstickfor his full bio.
Note: Because of his many outreaches, Dr. Pitstick can no longer answer complex and multiple questions from individuals. However, he has created many resources to answer your biggest questions and provide holistic solutions to your toughest challenges.
- Free articles, radio shows, and newsletters:
- Articles for Transformation and Healing(oncomhome page) address the most common questions, concerns, and challenges about life, death, and afterlife.
- Radio Shows(top tab of com) share his answers and those of top experts to life’s biggest questions: “Who am I? Why am I here? What happens after I die? Is there a God? Why is there so much suffering? Why must loved oneren die?” and others.
- Soul Proof Newsletterswith information and inspiration are delivered by email monthly. To subscribe, visit com
- Audio Products – CDs and digital downloads – allow you to benefit from quality sessions at home for a fraction of the cost of an office visit.These Transformational Audio Productsuse deep relaxation, visualization, breath work, and other techniques to access your inner wisdom, visit with “departed” loved ones, release old wounds and lower energy emotions, evaluate your pre-birth planning, have past life regressions, and more.
- Books and documentary film: these products (visit Shop) provide specific information to help you know and showthat you are a forever being of consciousness / energy / spirit and how you can live accordingly.
- Webinars and workshops: to learn about these and other updates, subscribe to the free email newsletters at SoulProof.comand SoulPhone.org.5. Greater Reality Living Groups: Dr. Pitstick and Dr. Gary Schwartz co-founded the organization for local and online groups.For more information, visit Greater Reality Living Groups.6. SoulPhone Foundation Membership and Newsletters:Receive research and development updates on this life and world transformative spirit communication technology being developed at the Laboratory for Advancement in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona. A prototype of the first device, the SoulSwitch, may be reliably functioning as soon as 2018. This breakthrough will constitute proof beyond any reasonable doubt that life continues after physical death. To receive updates, join the newsletter at SoulPhone.org.
- Coaching/Counseling Session:these can occur in person, by phone, or on Zoom. To learn more, visit Coaching/Counseling Session
Disclaimer:This information is not designed to replace medical or psychological care. My remarks are based on over forty-five years of study, training, personal experience, and professional service. Extensive clinical, scientific, and empirical evidence supports much, but not all, of what I say. My current best understandings may change over time. I do not claim to have all the answers or the only answers. My hope is that this information assists you to consider what makes the most sense to you.