by Mark Pitstick MA, DC

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This evidence-based information and holistic resources will help you to . . .

  1. Adopt a more accurate worldview based on contemporary understandings about ‘the big picture of life’ and live accordingly – whatever that means for you. (see article #19 ‘The Great News’ about the Nature of Reality at SoulProof.com)
  2. Experience shorter and lightened grieving after loved ones change worlds and other big changes that seem like losses.
  3. Fine-tune yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually so you have the vitality to handle life’s demands AND share your greatest gifts / soul’s missions.
  4. Become more aware of, benefit from, and share life’s silver linings that always accompany opportunities masquerading as adversity.
  5. Create the greatest life YOU have envisioned. (The term ‘YOU’ refers to your higher self / eternal consciousness / soul)
  6. Fulfill your highest purposes for being on earth and help make our world a better place. This is now practically possible as discussed in article #125 Eight Developments for Widespread Conscious Living Now. As enough people do this, widespread personal and planetary change will naturally unfold.

To learn more about how you achieve these lofty goals, read the following articles at SoulProof.com/ArticlesAND watch videos at SoulProof.com/Greater Reality Program.

Is There ‘A Time’ to Pass On?

It’s commonly said, ‘There’s a time to be born and a time to die‘ but is that really true?  And what is meant by ‘a time’?  Is that an exact day and hour, or more of a time frame for passing into the next phase of forever?  And is there flexibility for that time, that is, can the person and/or soul involved change his or her mind?  Or is that time ‘set in stone’? 

These questions are most commonly asked by grieving people or those who are preparing to wrap up their earthly journey.  Three emotions behind these questions include:

  1. fear about the upcoming transition from earth, especially for those who believe in the possibility of an eternal hell
  2. curiosity, especially for beginner souls who haven’t made the trip back Home as many times
  3. bargaining / denial when your or a loved one’s body is dying; is there ‘a loophole’ to alter the timing?

Note #1: Regarding #1, good evidence shows there are no fiery eternal hells that we are condemned to.  However, there are temporary and self-imposed ones that can be upgraded any time you’re ready to choose peace, joy, love, and good.  To learn more, see article #14 Heaven and Hell . . . What Are They Really?

Note #2: My wording for #3 recognizes that no one really dies – just the earthly form does.  Your human body is much less than 1% of who and what you are: an eternal being of consciousness, energy, life-force, soul / spirit.  To learn the evidence behind this statement, see articles #1 Scientific Evidence That Bodily Death Is NOT the End of Life, #60 Clinical Evidence That Life Continues After Physical Death, and #115 Experiential Evidence for Life After Death.  

Note #3: Articles, e-books, and audio programs are FREE at SoulProof.com / Articles or Shop.     

There is no scientific research yet about the timing of dying, but that’s on our list to explore when postmaterial communication technology is available.  To learn more about research and development of this technology, visit SoulPhone.org.  ‘Postmaterial’ is the favored term of Gary E. Schwartz PhD and myself to describe those who have passed on from earth and are now living in a different space-time slice of life.  To learn more, see article #31 What Is a ‘Postmaterial Person’? 

This article contains the clinical and firsthand evidence I’m aware of about the topic of timing.  I’ll share my conclusions at the end. 

Clinical Data

Raymond Moody MD, PhD investigated the frequency of bodily death around holidays, anniversaries, and birthdays compared to non-special days.  He reasoned that at least some control over the timing of passing might be demonstratable if, indeed, statistics showed an altered patter around these special days.  I can’t find the reference for this but recall that he did find an increased incidence as though people ‘held on’ until the special day had passed. 

From many documented near-death experience reports, we know that some people are given a choice whether to return to earth or not.  Others are told ‘it’s not your time’ and returned to earth shortly after that.  This clinical data suggests that, at least some of the time, there is an element of choice involved.  To learn more, see article #95 Near Death Experiences.

Life Between Lives data comes from four-hour long and very deep hypnosis sessions visiting ‘spiritual realms’ before coming to earth.  As described in his book Journey of Souls and others, Michael Newton PhD pioneered this field of inquiry that other therapists have continued.  Client reports indicate there is a time to pass on although there may be multiple ‘exit points’ from which to choose.  Which of these is taken depends on a number of factors such as whether the soul has fulfilled its missions and whether the brain – soul combination is suitable for doing that.  To learn more, see article #98 Life Between Lives.

Edgar Cayce, ‘The Sleeping Prophet’, was an American psychic who delivered thousands of readings that helped people with health and personal problems.  During pre-birth planning, Cayce taught, multiple potential dates and modes of passing are set up.  For example, a person may be able to move on as a child due to an infection disease, as a young adult from a car wreck, or in middle age due to a murder.  If those exit points aren’t chosen, the person may live into into their senior years.  To learn more, see article #25 Pre-Birth Planning: Did I REALLY Choose All This?

The term evidential medium describes highly aware people with verified abilities to ‘bring through’ information from postmaterial persons.  See article #25 Evidential Mediums to learn more about these incredibly sensitive individuals who can connect people on earth with their ‘departed’ loved ones.  I’ll share input from three of them on the SoulPhone Project team.  Each emphasized that their views are based on their personal and professional experiences after bringing through ‘spiritual’ visitors for their earthly clients. 

(The term ‘brain-based consciousness’ refers to the awareness that develops from the human body and brain.  Humans also have a transcendent source of consciousness that prexists human birth and survives bodily death.  While on earth, we each have this dual consciousness that, ideally, work together and are ‘on the same page’.) 

Jamie Clark, a professional medium for 26 years wrote: “Your time of graduating from planet earth is not set in stone; there may be several potential exit points.  A person’s brain-based consciousness can override the soul’s timing for passing on.  For example, some people strongly feel they are destined for certain life experiences so that can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.”  (JamieClark.net)

Andy Lee is an RN, doctor of acupuncture, and evidential medium.  As a clinician in hospitals, she saw numerous cases of patients who continued living beyond medical expectations until a loved one could visit from a distant state or country.  Then the patients passed on peacefully.  She also cited cases in which ‘overdue to die’ patients waited to pass on until a dear one went away for just a few minutes.  In her evidential medium training with the esteemed teacher Mavis Patilla, Andy learned that the timing is known well in advance in ‘spirit world’.  It may be known six weeks ahead when a person on earth on earth will pass on.  (AndyLLee.com)

Mark Anthony, author of Evidence of Eternity and The Afterlife Frequency and an attorney, stated: “Based on the thousands of readings I’ve conducted, it has been conveyed to me that there is a day we come into this world and a day we’re going out of it.  What we have influence over is what we do with the time in between.  My experience has not indicated different ‘exit points.’  There is a day you’re coming in and a day you’re going out of this world.  I had an NDE at age four; it did not appear I was given a choice but, rather, had to return.”  (AfterLifeFrequency.com)

 

Firsthand Experience Evidence

I worked part-time as a respiratory therapy technician for six years in two hospitals while in undergrad and theology school.  During those years, I was with many people as their life-force left their bodies.  I especially remember a four-bed ward with two comatose patients who I worked with for several weeks.  (This was 1973 before insurance company managed ‘care’ dictated who stayed in the hospital for how long.)  These men were elderly, had multiple organ failure, and severe pneumonia.  They needed breathing treatments every four hours and frequent suctioning to keep them breathing.  Over time, I saw no flowers, cards, or visitors so I spent extra time with them.  I spoke loudly into their ears since we knew that hearing can continue well after patients become comatose. 

I was reading books by thanatologists like Elizabeth Kubler-Ross MD and Herman Feifel PhD.  As such, I was aware that some patients ‘hang on’ to a hopelessly ill body because they are afraid of dying.  Those fears can involve concerns about nothingness after bodily death, a vengeful God, and dying alone.  I told them that if they wanted to remain on earth, that the staff would do everything possible to help them.  However, I said, if you are ready to move on to greener pastures, remember . . .

  1. There is good evidence that life continues after bodily death.
  2. God is a loving, fair, and caring Higher Power.
  3. You can’t die alone; you are surrounded by angels, guides, and master teachers like Jesus.

I encouraged them to look for The Light, trust God, and be aware of ‘departed’ loved ones – people and pets – who were there to escort them back Home.  In both cases, the patients passed on within 24 hours after my talk.  While a small sample size, those firsthand experiences suggested that people have a role in the timing of their bodily death.   

A personal and humorous story of timing came when my dad Bill Pitstick passed on.  Dad and I were very close and showed how much we loved each other in joking ways.  I was with him for 48 hours while he was in a coma and very near death.  My fiance Andy Lee reminded me that sometimes patients wait until a very close loved one isn’t present to slip away.  I said ‘Dad, Andy and I are going outside for a while.  Maybe you don’t want to leave when I’m here so this is your big chance to move on.’  We were outside for about 15 minutes and standing under a large oak tree.  I picked up a branch from the ground, looked up at the sky and said ‘Dad, I’m coming back to the room now.  If you’re not gone, I may have to use this stick.’  When we entered the room, my family said he had just passed.   

Mark Ireland co-founded Helping Parents Heal.org (HPH), is the father of Brandon who passed on, and  author of Persistence of the Soul and other excellent books.  Mark wrote: “People typically pass on after they’ve completed everything they came to earth to accomplish.  Or, that can happen when they reach a point – due to choices they’ve made – when they can’t complete their mission.  There might be a certain point, or points, but I think it’s not set in stone.  I think it comes down to when a persons’ mission is completed.  If we have free will that affects when our objectives are met, then the timing must be flexible.”  

He continued: “I suppose it’s possible for a person’s brain-based consciousness to override the soul’s timing, but only temporarily.  The pull to follow the soul’s inclination will always be there and eventually win out.  Personally, the timing of the passing of my youngest son had far-reaching implications.  It pushed me to learn more, write about it, and co-found Helping Parents Heal.  Without his passing at that time, I would likely not have done these things that benefited many people.”

Brian Smith is a grief guide, life coach, author, podcaster, Caring Listener for HPH, and father of Shayna who passed on.  He shared his thoughts: “After giving this a lot of thought, I’ve come down to a firm ‘I don’t know.’  I tend to go with the idea there are multiple exit points from which the soul chooses.  I’m pretty sure it’s a soul versus a human decision.  If it’s our time to go, nothing can keep us here; if it’s not, nothing can take us out.  I’ve heard of people who attempted suicide or were in horrific accidents who ‘should have’ been dead and yet, somehow, they survived.  Others passed on due to causes that ‘shouldn’t have’ killed them.  If people feel guilty about causing another’s demise, I assure them there is nothing they could have done to keep them here if it was their time to move on.” (Grief2Growth.com)

Jeff O’Driscoll is a physician, author, artist, speaker, and bereaved father.  He wrote: “One thing that seems universal and preeminent in our eternal journey is choice.  I believe we exercised choice in our pre-earth planning and continue to exercise it in the present.  It’s noteworthy how many near-death experiencers tell us they were given a choice to stay in eternity or return to mortality on earth.  Do our pre-earth choices prevail over our present choices, or vice versa?  I’m not sure.  I think a valid argument could be made for either scenario.  And, in a non-linear realm, perhaps we experienced each scenario rather than choosing only one.” (JeffODriscoll.com)

His last sentence is important because it highlights the possibility that your soul’s energy / consciousness can manifest in more than one space-time dimension simultaneously.  I can’t address this fascinating topic in this article, but see article #75 Multilocation / Parallel Realities / Simultaneous Experiences to learn more. 

In 2023, I interviewed 130 amazing parents who served as an Affiliate Leader and/or Caring Listener for HPH.  They each had at least one child who passed on, and several had more than one.  Even so, they are some of the most joyful, peaceful, loving, and service-oriented people I’ve met.  To watch those interviews, visit Affiliate Leader / Caring Listener Interviews; to see ‘the best of’ these interviews, read my book Shining Light Parents Speak.  The following stories comment on questions about timing of bodily death. 

In Chapter 3, co-editor Allison Alison wrote: “When searching for meaning behind their children’s transition from earth, some parents explored the idea of exit points. This is the theory that souls choose possible times when they will leave their physical bodies and return to the afterlife.  Some parents looked at their children’s lives and realized there were previous times when they could have passed on but did not.  Parents considered the possibility that their children exited at this time for higher purposes: for their soul growth and / or for the soul growth of others.”

Lisa Wilcoxen shared, “My son told me three things that I could go back and relate to after he passed on.  When Anthony was two years old, he said ‘I waited forever to come and be your baby’.  When he was four, he said ‘When I’m 18, I’m going to leave you and I’m so sad.’ I said, ‘Baby, when you’re 18 you’re a big boy and you go to college.  It’ll be okay.’  When he crossed over, he was 18.  I reflected that no four-year-old would think that.  Where did he get that?  Six months before Anthony passed, he was getting ready to go to college and he said ‘Mom, I need to talk to you.  I’m afraid I’m going to die.  I keep feeling like I’m going to die.  I need you to watch out for me.’  I can’t argue against the view that our souls sometimes know when it’s their time.”

Carol agrees.  “I 100% percent believe in a soul plan and that we cannot change the outcome.  I believe that when our kids finish what they came here to do, they have exit points.  My son Tyler had an earlier exit point where he got really sick.  At age 14, a virus went to his cerebellum and the doctors told us we were lucky because it could have been fatal.  After he passed, two different mediums said he had an exit point related to something with his brain at 14.  I believe there’s no guilt, regardless of how our children cross to the other side.  I think it was their journey.”

Other parents communicated with their children in the afterlife and learned their kids could have taken different exit points, but chose the ones they did for good reasons.  Amy said “In my first reading with a medium, Brandon said he had a later exit point but he would have suffered too much.  He said that passing from a Fentanyl overdose was the easiest way and ‘I just need to get back up there and get to work!’”

Andrea is able to communicate with her daughter telepathically and said “I don’t know why, but I always expected Chloe to transition at age 19.  After she passed on at age 28, I asked her about it with an afterlife contact technique.  She told me she could have left at age 19, but wanted to stay longer.  We have multiple exit points and she chose a later date.” 

Antonietta felt that the date of her son’s exit gave it more meaning for her.  “My son Daniel passed on my birthday and I’ve thought about that a lot.  Why that day?  It finally dawned on me that this is part of that big picture.  He’s making sure I know he’s always connected to me.”

(Note: see article #9 Visit with Your ‘Departed’ Loved Ones NOW to learn about techniques for communicating with postmaterial loved ones.)

Elizabeth Boisson co-founded Helping Parents Heal, is the president of this wonderful organization, and has two children who passed on.  She shared several examples of young people who could have passed on one way but that didn’t happen.  However, soon they passed on in a different way.  She stated “I believe that we all have several exit points, and that they occur fairly close in linear time.”  Summarizing this topic beautifully, Elizabeth wrote “The timing and manner in which we transition is not what defines us – it is simply an exit point.”

One of the best overviews about this topic was shared by Erika whose daughter Kamara passed on at age 21.  Erika wrote: “From a spiritual perspective, I have come to understand that when it is truly someone’s time, the transition unfolds with a precision that the human mind cannot explain and only the soul can recognize through God’s divine will.  Kamara’s passing was not random; it was exact. She was a passenger in her own car, seated on the side that was not struck. The impact was severe on the driver’s rear side, yet the driver and rear passenger on that side walked away without a scratch. Kamara alone transitioned instantly. To me, this speaks not of chance, but of divine selection of a soul gently called home.”

       Erika continued: “Kamara was a radiant, spiritually grounded being. God was real to her. Nature was her sanctuary. She read the Bible, attended church, and studied The Grail Message: In the Light of Truth by Abd-ru-shin, which she referred to as her spiritual guide. Her life reflected those teachings—selfless, service-oriented, deeply compassionate. She did not live for herself; she lived to uplift others.  Exactly one year before her transition, Kamara felt a powerful calling to travel alone to Nigeria during Christmas break. Despite our fears and warnings, she went, guided by something greater than parental logic. There, she reunited with her elderly grandmother who could not travel, met extended family, and touched countless lives. People still speak of her visit today. It was as if her spirit needed to complete something to close a sacred circle.”

      Erika shared signs that occurred before what she considers to be Karmara’s timely passing: “In the weeks leading up to her transition, the signs intensified. Two months before, she left me a voicemail at 3 a.m., which was a message of gratitude, admiration, and love.  The message was as if she were sealing something eternal between us. Four weeks before her passing, one of her closest friends, her mirror in spirit, unexpectedly transitioned. Though deeply grieving, Kamara poured herself into supporting others, as she always did. Two weeks before the accident, she called her father and asked him to explain what happens when you die from a spiritual perspective. He read to her the Grail lecture Ascent and spoke with her for two hours about the soul’s journey beyond this world, never knowing he was preparing her for her own.”

      She concluded: “After Kamara’s transition, her father insisted on a Grail Funeral, a ceremony that focused not on mourning, but on strengthening the soul’s ascent.  For me, these are not coincidences.  They are confirmations.  Kamara lived spiritually awake.  She loved deeply.  She completed her work here.  And when her time came, her spirit knew exactly where it was going.  She was not taken; she was called home when it was her time.”

*      *       *       *       *       *       *  

Based on the evidence and above discussion, it seems to me that people / souls can have some degree of control over when they transition from earth.  That may be a function of one or more of the following . . .

  1. Are they a more advanced soul / manifestation of energy, or more of a beginner / young soul?To learn more, see article #117 Are You a More Advanced Soul?
  2. How much did their loved ones on earth need a warning, sign, or special timing?
  3. A more developed brain-based consciousness may be able to exert control over timing better than a less developed one.

The following summarize my feelings that, ultimately, the timing of our passing is relatively inconsequential:

   *  As we said before a martial arts match: ‘Today is a good day to die.’  That didn’t mean we wanted to pass on then, but we knew that any day is a fine one to return Home.   

   *  I also love the saying ‘It’s all good, it’s all God.”  That means you can’t go wrong in the long run no matter what happens; that includes the timing of your bodily death.

   *  My friend Ed Sarno had a profound near-death experience after a heart attack.  When I asked what he learned, Ed said ‘That if I die tonight, that’s fine.  And if I live to 100, that’s fine too.  Life is set up so beautifully that we don’t have to worry about anything.’ 

   * As mentioned, there’s good evidence that only part of your soul’s energy / consciousness is involved in this earthly experience.  That means part of you / the totality of your being is experiencing life from another vantage point and part is with Source.  This view makes the timing of leaving earth less scary and sad.   

*       *       *       *       *       *       *

Thank you for telling others about this article!  Your life, and that of others around you, will be more enriched when you:  

  1. read the article again so you really know it.
     
  2. discuss with close family and friends to more deeply internalize it.
     
  3. take action steps that seem right for you.
     
  4. share it with others via social media, discussion groups, and other ways.

Hugs, love, blessings, and let it shine!
Mark

Mark Pitstick MA, DC

– a​uthor, lecturer, c​ounselor, and holistic chiropractic physician 

– spokesperson, researcher, and strategic planner for SoulPhone Project

– ​founder of ‘Greater Reality Healing, Living & Helping Program’

SoulProof.com     SoulPhone.org     ​​GreaterRealityProgram.com ​

University-based research has now scientifically proven that life continues after bodily death.  The SoulPhone Project will enable communication with postmaterial (so-called “deceased”) loved ones and luminaries who want to help us heal our world. How does this project, The Great News, and The 8 Developments affect the way you live and treat others and our planet?  (To learn more, see articles #35, 19, and 125 at SoulProof.com/Articles)

Dr. Pitstick is a master’s clinical psychologist, holistic chiropractic physician, and clinical nutritionist.  He has also helped others in pastoral counseling and suicide prevention / education settings.  His goal is to help you know and show that this earthly experience is a totally safe, meaningful, and magnificent adventure amidst eternity. 

To learn more about the Greater Reality Healing, Living, and Helping Program, visit the ‘Greater Reality Programs’ top tab at SoulProof.com and SoulPhone.org.  Also see  articles #19, 72, 82, 119, and 125 at SoulProof.com/Articles.

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Note: This article is intended as a reference source, not to replace professional treatment for physical, emotional, or mental problems.  The author disclaims any liability arising directly or indirectly from the voluntary use of action steps discussed in article. 

Dr. Pitstick created this article while ‘wearing the hat’ of a clinician, counselor, and educator.  His statements are based upon some scientific research; much clinical and experiential evidence; his personal experiences; and best current understandings.  This article does not reflect his role in the SoulPhone Project since that requires scientific data for all statements.